Monday, 25th September, 2017

Snippets

Local Xeroxwallah offers packages of 5 crore at IIT Bombay

05, Dec 2013 By advancedexter

Mumbai. In a development that has left the entire nation awestruck, except Robert Vadra and Sharad Pawar, a photocopier has approached IIT Bombay with salary packages worth 5 crores.

Chapai Kumar, a local xeroxwallah residing in Bhandup, has been allowed by the IIT administration to take part in the recruitment process.

“Engineers never get laid, they just get placed,” an IIT faculty told Faking News, “We have been sending the finest brains to the US leaving us with Rahul Gandhi and Kripa Shankar Singh. At least this offer stops brain drain.”

Xerox shop
They are printing money! (photo credit)

Chapai told this reporter that due to engineering colleges and political parties, he remains busy for 18 hours a day and earns over 250 crore rupees a month.

“Printing huge banners, xeroxing assignments, graphs, journals, and question papers. There are many vacancies!” Chapai claimed.

“Someone told that engineers were very intelligent in copying assignments, so I thought to get them on board,” said the owner of huge copying machines.

A student at IIT Bombay claimed that he rejected Google, Samsung, Facebook and even the Samajwadi Party for Chapai Kumar’s package and job.

“Earning crores in India is far better than those dollars in US, which ultimately turn out to be babaji ka thullu,” he said as he updated his Adobe reader to know the latest settings for printing pdf files.

Another student, trying to impress Chapai into hiring him, claimed, “I always wanted to be a xeroxwallah but my parents forced me into the IIT’s. Now I will follow my heart!”

Chapai is offering positions like “Senior Paper Scheduler”, “Assistant Printing Manager”, and “Chief Cartridge Inspector” to students. Students are happy because they are getting good monthly salaries and free accommodation in a premier chawl in Bhandup.

“This shows how global warming is a reality,” Chapai told this reporter when asked about his feelings on hiring IITians. Probably, he meant globalization.