Thursday, 14th December, 2017

Snippets

Kindergarten boy freshly dumped by girlfriend has been drinking large pegs of Rasna all night long

23, Jul 2016 By Pagla Ghoda

Mumbai: 4 year old Jainesh Jagan who is a Kindergarten student at Blue Oranges public school has been left heartbroken by his 3 year old girlfriend Shailja Sabhharwal, who dumped him yesterday night near see saw rides at a local park.

For the broken hearted
For the broken hearted

Jainesh apparently has not been able to take this breakup well and has drowned himself into high dosages of Rasna, Nimbooz and occasional glasses of Rooh Afza with ice.

“He has been listening to Jagjeet singh ghazals all night long and has been sipping glasses after glasses of rasna while staring at the roof in oblivion.” Said a worried Mr Jogesh Jagan, Jainesh’s father.

Jainesh’s mother Sharda Mehta Jagan was equally upset by his condition. She told Faking News, “At one point he even demanded me to get him a peg of cold bournvita milkshake on the rocks. When I asked him why is he behaving in this odd manner he looked at the half filled rasna glass with drunken eyes and said, “Wo chali gayi to ab yahi mera sahara hai” and let out a sad laugh. At that instant, I remembered my daddy ji who used to drink 2 pegs every evening and talk in the same manner. The truth is that, that witch ruined my sweet boy. I never approved when he when he went out to play with that baniya girl. I wanted Jainesh to spend with Parul, Mrs. Makhija’s daughter, she is a pure Punjabi. Par pata nahi kya jaadu kar diya tha us kalmuhi ne.

Jainesh apparently has also been writing weird shayari all night long. His father shared some of the poetic snippets which he has posted in an online forum called KidShayari dot com, frequented largely by heartbroken toddlers such as him. Some of the master pieces shared by Jainesh on the website are:

Tere sang rabbit pakadte the park mein,

Tere sang roz khela karte the lego se,

Tere pyaar ne cycle pe la diya ai bedard

Warna hum bhi ghooma karte the Ford Figo me

Aisa koi din nahi jo teri yaad me na beeta tha

Teri yaad mein sip sip karke rasna peeta tha

Mukhtasir alfaazon ko tu kya samjhegi ai begairat

Tere big teddy ke chakkar mein apna sony PS3 nahi khareeda tha

While Jainesh’s relatives are worried on how his future will pan out, his mother is relieved that he is finally out of a troublesome relationship.

She now plans to send him to stay with his “mama” who lives in Toronto, Canada, where Jainesh will continue his further studies. He is expected to return to India after 20 years or so when he and Shailja would be both grown-ups and the chemistry is expected to be re-kindled in Bollywood style, when they suddenly collide in a busy market and recognize each other.