New Delhi. A high level committee formed by the government to look into the allegations of match-fixing, black money, betting, underworld, corruption, prostitution, drugs, and political connections into IPL has concluded its investigations and submitted its final report to the Prime Minister. Although the report would be tabled in the parliament next month, Faking News has got exclusive access to its conclusions and recommendations.
The committee fixes the blame on ZooZoos for all the ills of the tournament and has recommended its removal.
“We have finished the probe in record time, within a week, which in itself is an achievement given the amount of time normal investigation committees and commissions take.” said Justice Liberhan, who headed the committee, claiming that he had compensated for the slackness he was unfairly accused of in his earlier role as an inquiry commission head.
After interviewing dozens of eye witnesses like cheerleaders and various other stakeholders of the tournament, Justice Liberhan found the ZooZoos guilty of acts of omission.
“They were laughing, dancing, cracking jokes and indulging in other such activities while this scam was taking place around them.” Justice Liberhan said, further arguing that there were also circumstantial evidences pointing towards complicity of ZooZoos in the whole scam.
“These ghost-like careless creatures came into existence with IPL2 after replacing a dog, which is supposed to be a brave and vigilant creature. This was a clear attempt to keep vigilance at bay while everyone made merry with the scam money.” Justice Liberhan argued.
Justice Liberhan has recommended immediate removal and sacking of the ZooZoos and bringing back the dog to put a tight leash on the activities happening under the garb of IPL. Although he doesn’t name anyone, it is widely believed that he is referring to the Vodafone Pug.
Reacting to the report and recommendations, fans of ZooZoos have expressed outrage and have threatened mass agitations if ZooZoos were made the scapegoat of the controversy. The fans and supporters suspect a conspiracy to bring in a sycophant Pug in the scheme of things while shielding the real culprits.
“Who is the government trying to protect?” asked Shashi Tiwari, an angry ZooZoo supporter.