Bangalore: Taking cue from Indian boxer Sarita Devi, Sudhakar Sharma, 26, a techie from Bangalore refused to take a consolation award that is presented to him in order to compensate his low appraisal ratings.
“In the last appraisal I have got very low ratings despite working hard. That’s not the worst part. The worst part is my colleague Ramesh who had been on sabbatical leave for last 1 year got ‘Out Standing’ rating,” complained Sudhakar.
“Inspired from Sarita Devi, I refused to take the consolation ‘Key player’ award today and in fact I put the award on my manager’s bald head in the team meeting where the award was presented,” he added.
Anticipating more such cases, HR managers immediately started damage control campaign in the company.
“Ratings may not necessarily reflect performance. Even in Sarita Devi case, we fully support the boxing judges and South Korean boxing federation. We agree that Sarita Devi has put a very good performance and clearly outplayed her opponent in Asian games. But, that doesn’t alone get her good ratings. She has to also submit white papers to the knowledge base, attend some training sessions in kungfu and karate (as they are closely related to boxing), and clear ‘Boxing level 5.4′ theory examination,” said Balamurugan Swamy, HR manager.
“There are huge number of factors we need to consider before giving final ratings. Considering recent backlash from employees, we designed a new formula to derive employee ratings and the formula will be displayed in all notice boards of the company. This way, we are making the process more transparent,” he continued.
“The formula takes values from important factors like Bell curve theory, Normalization, Attrition rates, Planck’s constant, Employee Body Mass Index, Rahul Gandhi’s 10th grade marks, RGV’s senseless tweets, Poonam Pandey’s horrible pics and Arnab’s dreadful debates,” explained Mr Swamy when Faking News asked him to brief the formula.
“Though we have first included Employee’s performance as one of the factors in the formula, we had to remove it later as we felt it was not so relevant,” clarified Mr Swamy.
“The formula is very complex and it took 18 hours of continuous research and analysis from our team of 8 highly qualified HR managers to complete it. Bringing Rahul, RGV, Poonam and Arnab into one equation is not an easy job. So, we decided to name the formula with initials of those 8 managers,”added Mr Swamy.
“And the formula name is N.O.N.S.E.N.S.E formula,” announced Mr Swamy.