New Delhi. After an almost-all-party meeting, the government has decided to deploy Robert Vadra to save Indian territory being acquired by the Chinese.
The emergency meeting was held secretly earlier this week where all parties, except the communist parties, were invited to find a solution to frequent incursions by China.
Sources tell Faking News that the Defense Minister AK Antony first tried to downplay the reported acquisition of 640 sq km of land by China. Apparently he said that it was Indian land dressed up as Chinese land.
Later, he fainted after Mulayam Singh Yadav claimed that he had walked 4 kms into China when he was the Defense Minister. Antony had to be carried away on a ‘Made in China’ stretcher, after which the meeting resumed.
After three hours of intense discussion where Rahul Gandhi tried to locate China on his Chinese phone’s Google Maps, the parties came up with a solution: The entire Sino-Indian border, including the 640 sq km area (supposedly) encroached by the Chinese, will be handed over to Mr. Robert Vadra free of cost (a.k.a. Zero Loss).
At this point, Mr. Robert Vadra, with his signature Aviator sunglasses, was led into the room by the Haryana Chief Minister, Mr. Bhupender Singh Hooda.
Justifying the decision, the Prime Minister said, “Since the India-China border in Ladakh was a high altitude region with barren land, we require a person who specializes in ‘thin air’ stratagem, including making money out of it.”
BJP didn’t oppose this move of the government, keeping in line with their latest strategy where they supported Food Security Bill, Land Acquisition Bill, and the Pensions Bill.
Thereupon, Mr. Robert Vadra to proceed with his presentation titled “Ladakh Today, Tibet Tomorrow!”
The presentation outlined Mr. Vadra’s business plan to develop the entire barren land along the Chinese border, including that 640 sq Km, as ‘Rajiv Gandhi Vaikalpik Urja Kendra’. The project will be financed by Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) from China.
According to Mr. Vadra, in the recent past, he had been inundated by requests from family members of the Chinese ministers and Chinese businessmen to reveal the secret behind his magic touch.
“China has been growing using cheap labor, but my business plans involves no labor at all. This has impressed China and they will be willing to retreat and watch me closely how I make money,” Vadra explained how his plan will stop Chinese incursions.
“By the way, our Tibet project, if offered, will be called the ‘Chairman Mao Vaikalpik Urja Kendra’ tranlated into Mandarin,” he added.