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IIM cancels admission to student who took CAT on performance enhancing drugs

24, Jun 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

Ahmedabad. Little did 22-year-old Vijay realize that his bragging about “exotic” experiments with life would cost him a place in the one of the most sought after b-schools of India.

Last night Vijay introduced himself to his seniors and batchmates in the dorm (hostel) as someone who had tried and tested every banned substance in this world, and how he won a girlfriend and cracked CAT as a result.

“I was completely stoned when I took CAT,” Vijay announced to his confused peers and amused seniors during the “introduction session” for the MBA batch of 2013 at D-16 of IIM Ahmedabad.

“But I tell you, it helps; look, I landed up here at the best b-school in APAC!” he added, hoping to grab the first mover advantage of being a star of the new batch.

But this morning he was summoned by the Director of IIM Ahmedabad and given the bad news. Vijay’s admission to IIMA was cancelled for using “unfair means” and taking “performance enhancing” drugs during an event that was supposed to test his aptitude and academic skills under “normal circumstances”.

Steroids
Such bottles were found in Vijay’s room, but he insists that there were vitamin capsules.

Vijay has also been banned from taking CAT for the next five years by all the IIMs.

“We were informed of this disturbing event by one of our whistleblower students late last night and an emergency meeting was called in the wee hours this morning,” IIM Ahmedabad Director Samir Barua told Faking News.

“After a couple of hours of discussion, we concluded that we couldn’t allow use of substances that enhanced the chances of admission to any particular test taker. This is unfair on other test takers and goes against the principle of providing level playing field to all,” Prof. Barua explained why IIMA decided to withdraw Vijay’s admission and ban him from future.

It’s not yet clear who leaked the information to IIM administration, but the event has shocked the student’s community across the b-schools in India.

“This is very unfortunate and shameful. Whoever snitched on Vijay should also be thrown out of the institute,” said a fuchcha i.e. first year student at IIM Ahmedabad.

Vijay obviously is shocked with the decision and is planning to appeal against it with the help of like-minded students.

“Where does the CAT manual or prospectus say that one can’t take performance enhancing drugs? And if they were so concerned, why didn’t they take urine samples of test takers once CAT was over?” Vijay argued, after his pleas for mercy were rejected by the IIMA academic council.

“And come on, you don’t even have to write any poetry or essay in CAT, how can dope or grass help? This is CAT, not Coke Studio for god sake!” he added.

Experts believe that there is a chance Vijay could be pardoned as this is the first such case that has come before IIMs or for that matter any academic institution.

“But urine tests after CAT or any other competitive exams to find out presence of any banned drugs among test takers are going to be a reality in future. In fact I wonder why we didn’t have them in first place!” said Prof. Mutranil Dutt, an academic expert.