Friday, 27th April, 2018

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Health ministry asks doctors to write prescriptions in Sanskrit, doctors reveal they are already doing so

27, Apr 2016 By Pagla Ghoda

New Delhi: After Mrs. Smriti Irani issued guidelines to IITs to start teaching Sanskrit, the Health ministry has also issued stringent guidelines to all doctors to start writing prescriptions in Sanskrit. In a startling revelation, the chemist association of India has clarified to the minister that prescriptions are already being written in Sanskrit.

It is Sanskrit, believe us
It is Sanskrit, believe us

Doctors’ handwriting has been a secret for time immemorial with nobody being sure what exactly they write. Now, at least we have zeroed in on the language after this revelation.

Mr. Bobby Borolis, a famous doctor from chawdi bazar area of New Delhi threw more light on this whole issue. He said, “We got this order from health ministry to start using Sanskrit and felt very offended. We have always been using Sanskrit and instead of recognizing our efforts to keep Sanskrit alive, they send us an order to use Sanskrit? What do we make of it?”

“The problem is that people never try to read what we write. They have made up their minds that our handwriting is illegible. Bhai thoda try to karo. We also know that it is impossible to understand what we write but surely you can make out the script being used. Anyway, we have now sent a letter back to the health minister asking for tax breaks for our attempts to preserve this language”, Mr. Bobby added.

When we asked Dr. Bobby to show how it is Sanskrit, he picked up a subscription lying on his table and said, “See this here reads like Combiflam, but in our ancient dialect we actually read it as Kombastu-falaami which means fire and fruit. This essentially means that this medicine is fruitful if patient’s body is on fire, i.e. under fever. This is why Combiflam is given for fevers and body pains. Now, look at this medicine name, here it seems like it says Benadryl Syrup, but it actually is Be-Nidra-Aryl which in our Sanskrit dialect means an Aral, i.e. a liquid which brings Nidra, i.e. sleep and soothes your body down. Which is why many people get addicted to taking two cups Benadryl every night before going to bed, to sleep peacefully. Our medicine journals are full of thousands of such examples.”

There was no response from the health ministry after this revelation. As per sources, the ministry has hired language experts to verify the claim by the doctors that they write in Sanskrit.

When we asked why the ministry didn’t take a look at some doctor prescriptions to identify the language, a health ministry spokesman replied, “Well, none of us knows how to read Sanskrit. We needed experts to identify this language correctly.”