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Govt to scrap all papers from Civil Services examination after excluding English fails to please protesters

05, Aug 2014 By indianpsycho

New Delhi. Putting an end to the continued protests by UPSC aspirants once and for all, the union government today decided to do away with all papers in the civil services entrance examination.

The decision was made after the exclusion of English paper from the exam failed to satisfy the protestors as they continued to demand exclusion of other papers like CSAT (aptitude test) as well.

“We could have excluded CSAT too, but then tomorrow they would have started fresh protests demanding scrapping of some other paper. So we decided to scrap all the papers at once and save our and as well as protesting aspirants’ precious time,” a govt official told Faking News.

It is still not decided how nearly 1300 IAS, IPS and IFS positions will be filled up it, but sources suggest that it could be either through first-come-first-babu basis or maybe through processes such as recommendations and “approach”.

“Nobody protests against such means,” the official explained why the alternative methods would see no protests.

Aspirants having homes far away from examination center now protesting against proposed 'first come first serve' basis selection.
Aspirants having homes far away from examination center now protesting against proposed ‘first come first serve’ basis selection.

Proving the official right, the protesting aspirants have welcomed the move, but wondered where to utilize the time they would now end up saving due to no protests.

“We might use the time reading newspapers, but thank god we don’t have to read Maths and English for any stupid aptitude test,” argued a 31-year-old IAS aspirant from Arts background.

When Faking News pointed that aptitude tests were part of even clerical level exams and so it could well be needed for someone who’d be bosses, the aspirant shot back, “Why do you need aptitude to work as an administrative officer when all you have to do is to simply follow instructions of politicians?”

Apart from aspirants, protesting political parties too find themselves without an issue to protest over.

“We were planning to demand CSAT paper in every regional language possible,” an MP disclosed, “In fact, to attract young generation, we were planning to demand that papers were also written in SMS language and used emoticons. But now with no paper, we have lost the opportunity.”

Meanwhile aspirants of CAT, IIT and other competitive exams have also decided to protest against the papers which they find tough to crack has regional and academic discrimination.