Friday, 15th December, 2017

Snippets

Government to issue Protest Cards, only those with valid cards may protest

31, Dec 2012 By Guest Patrakar

New Delhi. Concerned with aam aadmi getting out of his home and comfort zone to protest in the streets on the issues he feels uncomfortable with, the government of India is planning to regularize the whole protest process.

The government has decided to issue “protest cards” to the citizens of India. From the year 2013 onwards, only citizens with valid protest cards would be able to organize and take part in protests.

“If you love collecting cards, India is the place to be,” the good news was announced by Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde, “There are all sorts of cards like Ration Card, PAN Card, Aadhar Card, etc. and now we present to you the Protest Card.”

Mr. Shinde said that after getting frustrated by a lot of protests, such as Anna Hazare Protests, Baba Ramdev protests, Hang Kasab protests, CWG protests, Arvind Kejriwal protests (a work in progress), the government decided to come up with the idea of protest cards.

“We know that having a peaceful protest is the fundamental right of any citizen, but there are some problems that we have been facing of late,” the Home Minister explained the need of such cards.

India Protests
Anyone without a valid protest card will have to face such consequences

“We have a problem with going and meeting the protesters,” he continued, “A problem with the place of the protest, problem with the roads the protesters are using, problem with who should take part in the protests, problem with the mode of the protest (whether it’s just hunger strike or silent march or more), problem with the duration of the protest, problem with on what issue the protest is there, problem with for whom the protest is being made, problem with the time of the protest, problems with how many people joined the protest, problem with the media who cover the protest, and so on… to list a few.”

Finally, in order to resolve all these problems, the government decided to issue Protest Cards to all those people who want to protest, the Home Minister said.

Home Ministry sources tell Faking News that the main features of the proposed card are as follows:

1) You cannot protest with more than 5 people.

2) You can’t do a hunger strike of more than 12 hours.

3) You need to get an approval from the government before protesting. This includes getting approvals like Municipality Approval, PMO Approval, CMO Approval, Party Approval, Police Commissioner Office Approval, CID Approval, RBI Approval, Income Tax Approval, Home Ministry Approval, External Affairs Approval, Internal Affairs Approval, Finance Minister Approval, Agriculture Minister Approval, and Sports Minister Approval, and other necessary and relevant approvals to mention a few.

4) You can protest only on the weekends. No protests during the night, early morning, late evening or during the lunch break. Applicable to online/internet/social-media protests too.

5) Government will not be bound to take notice of the protests. They may send someone to talk to you as per their convenience.

6) Protesters must be patient and be ready to face water cannons, lathi-charge, and tear gas before the government decides to respond.

7) The government will respond by forming an advisory panel, which will advise the government on what should be done next. Till then you need to wait.

8) If you are not happy with recommendations of the panel, you are most welcome to protest again. But you will have to start afresh and go through all the steps and regulations.

9) Protest Card needs to be renewed every year.

10) Cards will be issued only after a thorough background check of a citizen. It will be free for senior citizens, but others will be issue have to pay a recurring “protest fee” to get this card.

“Happy New Year and hope all of you apply for this card and become responsible citizens of the country,” Home Minister said.

(Submitted through email: the author doesn’t want to reveal his/her identity fearing lawsuit {not faking news}. The author has further requested to add that “the author firmly believes that all protests should be non-violent, no matter how much is severity of the issue. Democracy and Independence is too hard-earned for our country, one should never take law in our hands and threaten our democratic setup itself.”)