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Government asks couples not to have sex between 7 AM and 11 PM

26, Apr 2012 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. In order to protect children from being exposed to adult content, the government has issued a notification that prohibits adults from indulging in sexual acts, starting from 7 AM in the morning when many children wake up from their sleep. Adults, irrespective of their marital status or sexual orientation, have been asked to control their desires till 11 in the night when children go to bed again.

“Anybody caught having sex during this time will be put behind bars and fined,” Minister of Information and Broadcasting Smt. Ambika Soni informed. Earlier the ministry had directed TV channel Sony not to telecast the movie The Dirty Picture before 11 PM.

A still from The Dirty Picture showing Vidya Balan
Earlier, government had prohibited adults from watching such pictures before 11 PM

“The same logic applies here,” a source clarified, “Sex is for matured audiences and you never know who could be watching you having sex, as the recent controversy over Abhishek Manu Singhvi proved; so it’s better to be on the right side of the law and children’s sleeping hours.”

According to sources, the government is afraid that little children could be accidentally exposed to scenes of people having sex during daytime and it could have bad effect on them.

“There are so many Sex CDs and MMSes around, which clearly proves that adults don’t take enough precautions before having sex. Why should children suffer due to their recklessness?” an official in I&B ministry argued.

The new rules have expectedly been met with public outrage, especially in the social media, with #WeWantSex trending on Twitter and thousands of Indian users adding “sex” as an activity to their Facebook profile.

“All these guys are always online and active on websites. They don’t seem to be doing anything else. I wonder if they ever get to have sex! Why are they so upset?” wondered Justice Katju, who thought the government should regulate such noises on the web.

“I hope they make exceptions on weekends and national holidays” a couple working their ass off for a top MNC hoped.

However, couples need not worry as the new rules will come into effect only after the next general elections. Experts believe that the government is trying to force people into thinking only about sex till polls, so that they don’t focus on other issues like governance and development.