Tuesday, 23rd January, 2018

Snippets

In the era of 5G, the 2G scam is no more relevant, CBI court dismisses all charges

21, Dec 2017 By RT

Patiala. The CBI court has today dismissed all the charges pressed by CBI, ruling that the 2G scam is no more relevant, in the era of 5G. I will be called totally old fashioned if I don’t dismiss anything related to 2G, the judge told Faking News, waving his brand new 5G phone, for good measure.

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The court also recommends a ban on all kinds of whistles, effective immediately. “The sounds from those whistles are annoying, you know. We have studied extensive lab testing results on both the whistles and the decibel level tolerance of a common man. Also on a politician, to test on a different breed and the results were shocking. Most of them could not stand the whistle sound and some of them reported to have immediate brain damage that stimulates violent behavior to attack the apparatus that makes the sound and anyone who is holding it. We recommend a ban on whistles, as a non-violent democracy” a top court official told Faking News.

“Just last week, when I was carrying my 2G phone, my neighbours made fun of it and laughed out loud. Only after I have threatened with holding them under contempt of the court, they kept quiet. Right then I have decided to dismiss anything from related to 2G. If I have to sentence anyone in this case, it is going to be a different 2G. You know which 2 Jis I am refereeing to” the judge was extremely candid talking to Faking News.

After the sensational dismissal of charges, Kalaignar TV praised the verdict by saying that the judge has acted like a Swan and clearly separated out good from the bad, much like the bird can separate out milk and water.