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Engineers across India drop out; apply at JNU after hearing about sex there from BJP MLA

23, Feb 2016 By Sandeep Kadian

Delhi: In a surprising move, thousands of engineering students across the country have dropped out of their course and queued up outside JNU for admission. There were queues stretching from JNU front gate to Munirka with young men pushing each other to get inside.

As per MLA Ahuja, entry pass for JNU
As per MLA Ahuja, entry pass for JNU

As per our reporters on the ground, this sea of engineering students has descended on JNU after hearing from BJP MLA Gyandev Ahuja that 3000 condoms and 500 abortion syringes are used daily in JNU hostels. This has given hope to many engineering students who had given up on having any sex during their college life.

“Well he mentioned many things that were similar to our hostel. 2000 liquor bottles, 10,000 cigarette butts, 4,000 beedis, 2,000 packets of chips etc but then he started mentioning the number of condoms being used daily and we were shocked. If 3,000 condoms and 500 abortion syringes are being used daily then that means most probably 7,000 people have had sex in a night. That is about 1,000 times more than the number of engineers who had sex in the history of our college”, said a 3rd year engineering student Nagendra.

Nagendra further said, “Mr Ahuja also mentioned that students dance around naked inside the campus so that is a great saving on internet expenses too. We spend so much money downloading porn but that will not be needed when we can see naked people in 3D right in front of us. Good entertainment for the evening too, we can enjoy the dance after a hectic day of sleeping in classrooms.”

Another student, Nilesh Kumar, present outside the JNU gate explained their decision to our reporter and said, “Even after doing engineering we do totally random jobs these days. Only a tiny percentage actually uses their engineering degrees so why not do a degree from JNU instead. At least there is a greater probability of enjoying college life here. If we don’t get a job after degree, we can always enroll in another degree and carry on studying at JNU till we retire.”

“The fees is so low here that even our parents will not say their regular dialogue of ‘Gadhe ke bachche, is liye itne paise kharch raha hoon tujhpe’ when we fail. So it is great for our parents too”, Nilesh went on to add.

Meanwhile, a Mechanical Engineering student called up BJP MLA Ahuja and asked, “Just to be clear. The sex that guys are having in JNU is with girls?”