Allahabad. About time when IITans sperm market was on its peak for their sharp acumen and national obsession, an Allahabad engineering student bagged bigger offer of 1.34 crores from Facebook, almost double than his IIT counterparts. After flowing his blood and sweat all these years, it’s time to flow his semen. The engineering student has decided to sell his sperm to parents desirous of having children who can earn crores.
“People say this is brain drain as I’d be going to US to work for an American company, but before that, I want to help our countrymen,” said the concerned engineering student, whose name has been kept secret for security reasons.
In an exclusive interview to Faking News, the now-famous student shared his secret formula of success. He claimed to have campaigned for BSP in recent UP elections for extra pocket money by creating fake profiles of each of the Mayawati Statues, which was an elephantine task in itself. This particular aspect was appreciated by the recruiters from Facebook, who are aiming to have 20 billion profiles by the end of this decade.
“I didn’t create fake profiles, I created copies,” the student clarified, “And now I’d help parents create copies of myself by selling my sperms.”
His friends and relatives have decided to gift the talented student porn magazines and fantasy books to help him produce more and more sperm, but sources say that the town of Allahabad has run out of quality porn as many MLAs have seized them to watch and read them in the state assembly.
“I have some porn on my hard disk and the college server, but I wanted new ones as they fail to excite me anymore,” the student said. To add to his woes, he has received thousands of Facebook friend requests from guys willing to learn from his success, though he is still waiting for acceptance of 100+ Facebook invites he has made to various girls.
While his batchmates are turning into green eyed monsters with jealously, they are not all disappointed. Similar offers of selling sperms are coming to them based on their third year mark sheet. Their families are hoarding large amount of natural aphrodisiacs like Saffron and Watermelon, whereas students are busy evaluating handful (literally) of offers.
As per our sources, Rahul Gandhi has promised to have dinner at the home of the one of the Allahabad engineering student who couldn’t sell his sperms because of ATKT in third year exams.
(Lalit Lohia, the reporter, not the student, tweets here)