Bangalore. In a move that can turn fortunes around for a bogged down ingenious defense industry, Hindustan Aeronautics Limited (HAL) is planning to launch drones which will prevent mangoes from being stolen by mischievous kids. HAL which seems to have been bypassed by the govt on key defense deals now plans to win back its favor by curbing the biggest menace the country faces every summer.
This move comes as a huge relief to
cranky concerned mango tree owners. One such guy Mr. Himsagar Kumar narrated his pitiful tale, “As soon as May comes I start bolting all my gates and even carry an annual maintenance of all my fences but even that doesn’t stop these kids from entering my garden. What’s more crazy is that they can come anytime. Once at night I heard some rustle outside and thought my son who works in the IT industry has returned but after seeing that its just 11:00 PM, I rushed outside to see these kids merrily vandalizing my tree. After that I even hired a watchman but even he used to merrily eat my mangoes while on duty.”
With these drones Mr. Kumar now hopes to peacefully enjoy the 15 odd mangoes his tree yields him every year.
The drone reportedly has a 3 layer protection plan. Initially it plans to scare off most of the kids with its grotesque size and unbearable noise. For those who remain, there are 2 brooms attached to it in place of missile launchers to shoo the kids off. And if even that fails, the drone would start playing Bombay Velvet on its LED screen. But for that 1 in a million kid who refuses to leave even after this, the authorities have other plans.
A senior engineer on conditions of anonymity said, “This guy’s courage, dedication, stamina, persistence and ability to fight is being wasted in stealing mangoes. For him we plan to request Arnab to allow him a place at his Newshour debates. Surely this guy would make a terrific panelist.”
This move though has come as serious disappointment to some of the kids who had even received training from the Kashmiri separatist youth in the art of throwing stones. One such kid named Boulder Singh tried to defend their gang, “Our job isn’t just vandalizing trees, it involves serious physics as well. We have to take into account the air drag, the projectile curvatures, relative velocity and other serious principles. I was even planning to do it as my holiday homework project.”
The kids are now planning to undergo training in guerrilla warfare to evade these drones.