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Delhi University professor wanted to create a Spider-Man

01, May 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. In a disturbing development, the Atomic Energy Regulatory Board (AERB) has expressed fears that some Delhi University (DU) professor might have wanted to create a real life Spider-Man by burying radioactive materials within the campus premises. A four-member AERB team visited DU campus today to launch an investigation into the alleged mishandling of radioactive waste by the university, and came to this conclusion after the preliminary rounds of investigations were over.

“We talked to various retired, visiting and fulltime professors and students, and were shocked to learn this. A person confided to us on conditions of anonymity that a particular professor wanted to bury Uranium-235 within the campus so that he could create an Indian Spider-Man – someone who can shoot webs from his wrist and climb walls in a gravity defying manner!” said Anish Gupta, an AERB investigating officer.

It’s widely believed that an ordinary college-going student called Peter Parker had turned into Spider-Man when he was bitten by a radioactive spider. It seems that the idea of this unidentified DU professor was to first create a radioactive spider and then get it to bite a DU student.

“Some 20 years ago, 20 kg of radioactive waste was dumped in a 10 feet deep pit with a small dingy room was built over it. The room was always kept locked and when we opened it today for investigations, we found it full of spider-webs, and of course, full of spiders.” Gupta said, with a hint of concern and panic in his tone.

Indian Spider-Man
Could we soon have our own desi Spider-Man?

AERB officials denied commenting if they thought that the spiders living in that room over the pit could have turned radioactive in the last 20 years.

“It’s a matter of investigation and we have taken all the spiders from that room into our custody.” informed another AERB officer, appealing to the students and campus residents not to panic unnecessarily.

But eyewitnesses claim that the AERB team had ordered a campus janitor to clear the spider-webs and no spiders were arrested from the spot.

“I was there, and I saw them entering the room after getting it cleaned. I never saw them catching any spiders. I’m damn sure that the spiders had escaped from that room.” said Pavitra Prabhakar, a second year student of English literature.

“Oh man, I wish it bites me!” hoped Prabhakar, denying that he was panicky to learn that there could be radioactive spiders on campus. In fact, he believed that despite summers and weekends, the campus would soon be flooded with wannabe Spider-Men.

The government and DU officials have so far not commented over the issue.