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Delhi homes to install CCTV cameras in bathrooms to find who used water above free quota

30, Dec 2013 By idiot420

New Delhi. Delhi Jal Board, under directions from the new AAP government, today announced that each household in Delhi with a functional meter will get 20kl liter of water free per month. However, people will have to pay for the entire amount of water consumed if they go above the free quota.

This has pushed Delhi people to think of innovative ways in which water usage can be controlled and monitored. In households where bachelors are sharing a water connection, new accounting methods are being devised so that cost can be attributed to person whose wayward ways caused extra usage.

AAP ka bathroom
Bachelors may try to take bath in this manner in which water will fall on everyone from the shower and the same amount of water can help more than one guy to take bath

For the benefit of the aam aadmi, Faking News has following suggestions to save water and to track usage:

1. Install CCTV camera in bathroom to track water usage of every household member. This will debar them from using unfair means to consume more water than amount allocated to them. It is a common corrupt practice where some people consume extra mug of water while bathing; they pouring it on their body slowly without making any sound, so that people outside don’t come to know. CCTV cameras will bring transparency and end this corrupt practice.

2. The CCTV footage should be used not only to find the culprit using more water than allotted, it should be used to perform audit of each bathroom visit by a household member. Best bathroom practices should be announced after this audit e.g. a total ban on using whole bucket of water just to wash one’s feet.

3. If CCTV cameras appear too intrusive, miniature water meters could be installed at faucets, flush tanks, etc. which will record water consumed during brushing, taking a dump, and other such activities. An accounts book should be maintained against each member recording the water consumed for each activity.

4. Miniature water meters to be installed inside human body after proper operation to measure the level of water drank.

5. At least once in a week try water saving tricks like organizing a joint bathing session, especially households comprising only of bachelors. Flatmates can form a human pyramid under shower (see picture). Besides saving water, these simple steps also increase brotherhood between flatmates.

6. Increase count of dark color clothes in your closet, as you can wear them for longer period without washing. Also buy perfumes and deodorants.

7. Like Swami Agnivesh and Morarji Desai, you can try self-urine therapy. Will save water.

8. Frozen foods or heat-and-eat recipes can also be tried as it will save water while cooking. Instead of black tea, try dry tea e.g. mixture of tea leaves and sugar.

9. If you are rich and tech savvy but want to feel like an aam aadmi, bath could be taken in a Jacuzzi styled sensors fitted empty bathtubs. A limit of the water that can be used while bathing will be set and a danger mark (khatre ka nishaan) would be marked on bathtub. As soon as the water consumed by a particular individual touches that mark, sensors would become active and produce an electric shock, the impact of which would throw the person out of the bathtub. Don’t worry about electricity bills, they are also going to be halved in Delhi.

10. On the lines of carbon credit, a household member who doesn’t take bath too often should be allowed to sell his/her share of water to another member who likes to take bath daily. This will further incentivize water conservation.

11. Keep aside a share of water as central emergency fund to tackle natural calamity like loose motion, for water consumption sky rockets during those hard times. This will prevent a household from getting bankrupt in mid of the month.