Mumbai. BCCI today has announced that the board is in talks with the government of New Zealand to buy the country and make her become the first colony of Republic of India. The decision was taken by the board after Indian cricket team’s dismal performance against Australia, in the world cup semi-final match.
“It is a well known fact that BCCI is the richest sports body in the world. But, little does everyone know that we have enough money to buy countries. Talks are on with the government of New Zealand, in fever pitch, to close the deal prior to Sunday, the 29th of March, for India to emerge victorious in #CWC15,” the BCCI spokesperson bowled over Faking News correspondent with his opening spell.
“The decision to select New Zealand was a no brainer. Even with all our cash might, we still cannot afford an Australia. The country is just too big. Bigger than India! That leaves us with only one choice to bat for New Zealand. Know what? It is only one tenth of the size that of India,” BCCI spokesperson explained the inside story about the decision.
When Faking News correspondent gently informed that the per capita of New Zealand is about 25 times greater to that of India’s, the BCCI spokesperson gave a kind of stare that would make even Einstein appear stupid. “Who cares about India’s per capita? At BCCI, it is board’s per capita and it is a few thousand times higher than that of New Zealand’s. With no further match-fixing in IPL, we still can buy a couple of more New Zealand and add another West Indies just for the kicks,” stumped the spokesperson.
“I know! You are going to ask the inevitable question: ‘What if New Zealand loses the final?’ We have thought thru this very elaborately and have a backup plan to handle such an outcome. Since we cannot buy Australia, talks are already on with every individual of the Australian cricket team, including the support staff. In the mostly likely event of an Aussie win, the guys who walk up to hold the trophy will all be Indian Aadhaar card holders,” the BCCI spokesperson concluded the grand scheme to the sports columnist of Faking News, a cricket enthusiast himself, leave wondering whom to support on Sunday’s final of #CWC15.