Thursday, 21st September, 2017

Snippets

Barred from offering management courses, IIPM starts offering Mismanagement courses

27, Sep 2014 By Mishtik Journo

New Delhi. After Delhi High Court asked IIPM to stop calling it a “management institute”, Arindam Chaudhuri has come up with a brilliant solution – he has announced that henceforth IIPM will be known as Indian Institute of Pure Mismanagement.

Chaudhuri claimed that there was much more need and demand for mismanagement skills in the country and the corporate world, than any management skills. He also revealed that IIPM was ranked number one in the world for its mismanagement courses.

He further revealed that the first batch of Masters in Business Mismanagement & Manipulations (MBMM) has already achieved 100% placement even before the first class was held for the new students.

Arindam Chaudhuri
Discover the crook in you, says Arindam Chaudhuri, announcing the new and improved IIPM.

Sources tell Faking News that this time, these claims were totally genuine and verifiable. Sources confirm that a number of large and medium companies jostled to be the first for campus recruitment even as the selected students queued up to pay the capitation fees.

“Mismanagement and manipulation requires specialized planning and intricate scheming for the business to ultimately default on due payments to the lenders, employees, and vendors. It needs a twisted mindset right from the initial stage of one’s career. This course caters to this need and orients its students to run a successful business be a successful businessman in India,” explained Dr Malay A Gogia, an alleged professor from Belgium who’d be teaching at the new IIPM.

“In the first introductory class, we place a bottle of cold drink on the table and ask each student to finish his bottle from under the table, without being visible, with the help of a long straw without ever touching the bottle. This is their first lesson in siphoning off – a trait so necessary for the students to succeed in their careers,” Dr. Natwarlal, another professor explained the essence of the MBMM course.

Alok Gupta the marketing head of the institute, during a road show delved upon the innovations the course offers, “We have a special course in the second semester conducted by professor P C Sorcar on how to create Fixed Deposits Receipts (FDR), Inventories, Debtors and other assets out of nothing, in thin air. Aided by fictitious assets, the business continues to show ingenuine profits for years together before it suddenly turns turtle and defaults on all its financial obligations. Professor Ramalinga Raju will visit IIPM as a guest faculty for this course.”

“In the final semester, in a typical exercise, a student is given a single umbrella and is so trained that ten different persons believe that they are protected from rain by this same umbrella. They live in a make believe world till it actually begins to rains. Dr. Arindam Chaudhuri will himself conduct the classes for this exercise,” proudly commented Sahil Agarwal, a new admit.

Sahil is hopeful that after successfully practicing this exercise he will be able to run a ponzi scheme on the banks who lend to his business.

In the meantime, Arindam Chaudhuri has asked the department of education under the central government to move a note for recognizing IIPM among the Indian Ivy league.