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Anti-Valentine’s Day protesters beat each other after finding no couples in park

14, Feb 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

Faridabad. Protesters belonging to various groups opposed to celebrating Valentine’s Day got the shock of their life after they failed to spot a single heterosexual couple celebrating the day at the local park here.

Frustrated and angered by an imminent failure of their plans of bashing up such couples and be in the limelight, the protesters started thrashing each other.

Street fight
Protesters clashing with each other

“All due to these guys!” claimed a member of the Sarv Khap Sena throwing a slipper towards a volunteer of the Virat Hindu Samaj, “They went overboard in threatening the local couples. They even threw pamphlets inside their homes warning of dangerous consequences. And see, now no one has come out!”

Sources tell Faking News that the protesters, around 20 in total, were the first one to reach the jogging park this morning and were forced to loiter aimlessly there for a couple of hours as no couple turned up. Apparently, only losers look up to this day these days, but this trend couldn’t be verified from independent sources.

Local TV news reporters were the next set of losers singles to reach the park, hoping to record some drama with helpless couples getting beaten up, and send those video clips to their news channel’s headquarters in Delhi, where their bosses could outrage about the incidents later in the evening.

“The embarrassment was too much to take,” disclosed another protester why he resorted to beating up fellow protesters, “The reporters started taunting and laughing at us. Some of them warned that they’d never give us any media coverage in future if we failed to give them some dramatic scenes on camera.”

After beating up each other for 15 minutes, which was recorded by the local TV reporters, the protesters went their own way, allegedly to add random girls on Facebook.

Sources say that the news channels are planning to show the “news” as Pro and Anti-Valentine’s Day protesters clashing with each other.

“That will differentiate our reports from the Faking News’ report,” explained a local journalist.