Saturday, 21st October, 2017

Snippets

Amit Shah blames confusing GST tax slabs for failing to buy MLAs in Gujarat RS Polls

09, Aug 2017 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

Gandhinagar: Following high drama in Gujarat RS elections in which Ahmed Patel managed to scrap through Amit Shah has trained his guns on GST and its confusing tax rate slabs as he failed to strike deals with Cong MLAs.

It was widely rumored that BJP was trying to buy Congress MLAs for 15 Cr each. Sources tell us that MLAs decided to play safe and demanded that all the transaction be done in white with applicable GST paid. The Chartered Accountants hired by Shah could not decide whether MLAs are luxury or necessity. Therefore they could not agree on applicable tax slab for the MLAs being bought and deal could not be finalized.

As soon as results were declared late night, visibly furious Amit Shah immediately called PM Modi blasted him left-right-center to show his displeasure with the way GST has been implemented.

“What’s the use of a so called One Nation One Tax system if we cannot buy the stuff we need for our daily needs? Were all the talks of ‘Ease of doing businesses’ a Jumla Modi Bhai? We already have Center GST and State GST, to make matters worse, Congress took MLAs away to Karnataka. Now that two states are involved, another component IGST (Interstate GST) also comes into play. On top of that the MLAs were joking about whether Congress can claim input tax credit since MLAs were essentially Congress products. I have never felt this much embarrassed in my life. Congress has managed to outwit me this time, ” Shah seems to have told PM.

Modi tried to pacify him by saying, “Amit bhai calm down. You should do Yoga to control your temper & blood pressure” (While demonstrating Anulom – Vilom on phone).

This further irked Amit shah and he roared back, “Lok Sabha ki 282 and UP me 320 seats ‘Anulom – Vilom’ karne se nahi aayi hai Modi Bhai. Aap bat ko samjho. Ye mann ki baatein junta se kariye. Maine Dhan ki baat karne ke liye phone kiya hai.

Our reporter Shaitaan Khopdi™ talked to Amit Shah on the issue and he candidly accepted that Modi government has made a tactical blunder in implementing GST.

“Now I realize why Congress only talked about GST for years, but never actually implemented it. Things were lot easier without GST. We formed government in Manipur and Goa without any problem when GST was not there. I would join Kejriwal and Mamta Banerjee in demanding GST rollback. If need arises I will sit on Dharna with their MLAs.”

After knowing that Amit Shah is trying to mingle with their MLAs, Kejriwal and Mamta sensed trouble and immediately dispatched their MLAs to an undisclosed location.