Hyderabad. In a not so shocking revelation today, Faking News found out that all HR Personnel have inner ear implants that can play a collection of mp3 songs inside the head, without any disturbance from external noise i.e other employees talking, appraisal discussions etc.
This was discovered when they scanned a HR person’s brain when he was admitted for a routine scan. They found that in addition to the head being empty, there was an electronic implant in the ear. When they extracted and examined it, it was state of the art advanced technology that would put Spielberg’s Alien technology to shame. It had the seal of the MBA institute from which the person has passed out. They traced the item to the placement cell and demanded to know the full details of that implant.
A long kept secret finally emerged. Apparently the implant is fixed to every HR person passing out of the institute. It is voice activated. Whenever the HR person says ‘Tell me about yourself’ or kindly provide a feedback on your appraisal, it will turn on the songs. Then the HR can listen to the songs while nodding the head and saying mmhmm etc. They just have to control the urge of headbanging, that’s it. This implant also serves as an automatic answering machine when it hears questions such as “When will I get my hike?” or “Will my appraisal be screwed up this year as well?”. In response, it will play a prerecorded message “The management has to take a decision on that”.
The bonus feature it has is if during your feedback session, you happen to say that your manager is an as****e or f***k management. The device will instantly transmit the conversation live to your reporting manager’s phone.
The techies are not surprised at this new breaking story. We always knew our feedbacks were never listened. They said that now we know how our feedback didn’t reach anyone in the management.
The All State Senior Hr Organisation’s Legal Entity Subdivision have lodged a complaint on the hospital for revealing this information to the public.