While many think that the government has destroyed the files related to coal allotment scam, Faking News is willing to trust the honesty and integrity of the government. Our think-tank believes that these files, numbered around 60, could be temporarily missing due to following reasons:
1. Former Law Minister Ashwini Kumar is doing a spell-check on the files and they will be returned after removing all spelling and grammatical mistakes. Yes, only spelling and grammatical mistakes will be corrected, nothing else will be changed.
2. The files went out for a walk and RSS workers kidnapped them. Digvijay Singh agrees with Faking News for the first time. He believes that the files could be lying in the Nagpur headquarter of the organization whose hand is behind everything.
3. They are safe and secure in Gujarat. Digvijay Singh doesn’t agree but his haters agree. Files were rescued by Narendra Modi because he feared that the government will tamper with them. They will be handed over to the CBI once BJP comes to power after winning 272 seats of her own.
4. Arvind Kejriwal and Prashant Bhushan are studying them. They had asked for copies of these files through RTI, but the concerned ministries goofed up and sent them the original files. They will return them in a press conference not covered by any news channel.
5. Rahul Gandhi ran out of papers to make airplanes and thus these files were supplied from the Prime Minister’s Office. Since paper planes don’t fly too far away, they will be collected and put together once the young Gandhi is done with his origami lessons.
6. They have been inadvertently given to the local copier at Race Course Road. Blank sheets meant for printing Prime Minister’s speeches are regularly supplied to the local copier. The copier should return them if the files are printed on both sides of the paper.
7. They are in Pakistan. Government sent another round of dossiers condemning the latest LoC incursions and included these files by mistake. Pakistan would return them after taking notes on how to conduct a scam in their own country.