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Robert Vadra writes exclusively for Faking News

18, Aug 2013 By idiot420

The kind of media attention that I am getting in the last few days can be compared only with that given to Chennai Express. However, there is a difference between my fame and Chennai Express’ fame – I am getting media hype after earning money while Chennai Express is earning money after getting the media hype.

But tell me, is making money a crime?

My business model might be mysterious, but it is still a business model. I thank Yashwant Sinha ji who realized that this was the model that India needed to come out of the current economic mess.

Robert Vadra
The honorable son-in-law gestures after finishing this column

But there are people who are trying to belittle my achievements – one of them is this IAS officer Ashok Khemka.

He has claimed that I did no work, and that my dealings were not even like that of a middleman who takes commission. He said that my dealings were like hafta collection!

Let me make it clear that collecting hafta is hard work too. Hafta is a protection money. Come to think of it, aren’t political donations a kind of hafta? Business houses give donations to political parties so that they are protected when the party comes to power.

It can be logical argued that the current process of political funding is nothing but hafta collection. My hafta collection was exactly the same. That’s why many I’m being defended by those who understand politics and who value my hafta collection.

I think people are jealous of me. Normally people lose their power and independence after marriage, but in my case, I gained power and independence. This has made people go green with envy.

Another reason why people envy me is because my life has begun from the point where it ends for them – romancing and then marrying a beautiful girl – that’s where even feel-good Bollywood movies flash “The End”.

My brother-in-law tried to send a signal to my haters when he said “Power is Poison”. But people are still jealous of the power that I enjoy by virtue of my marriage.

People have been making jokes on me on internet. But I want to tell those losers that I updated the status of a barren land to that of an industrial land faster than they could update the Facebook status. And I made money too.

Lastly, some are suggesting that my mother-in-law should dump me and get a clean image for her party. LOL! It’s like suggesting to a Gorilla to clip its fingernails he if it wants to get an image of a human being.

I have no idea where this all drama will end. But I thought I’ll have some fun while it lasts. Thanks Faking News for giving me the opportunity to write this column.

Robert Vadra.