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Why Indian parliament should say "bahut dhanyawaad" to Pamela Anderson

15, Nov 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

It’s her first visit to India and pity that she’d be locked in a useless house with some idiots. She deserved something much bigger, as she had always deserved, and got them implanted when nature denied them. But as Indians, we shouldn’t have denied her the opportunity to see a country, which has been shaped as much by her as by our current Prime Minister.

Yes, she is Pamela Anderson, one woman every Indian loved, regardless of his or umm… his caste, class, religion, language, education, and ethics. She was the first, and maybe the only till date, outcome of the liberalization policy initiated by our current Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, which every Indian has been able to experience equally. There are no two Hindustans as far as Pamela is concerned.

Most of us saw our Pam in the 1990’s; when our country was going through an economic crisis, Mandir madness and Mandal mayhem. Amitabh Bachchan had retired and a new boy called Shah Rukh Khan was seen stuttering with a strange hair-cut. Ajay Jadeja was our dream hard-hitter and DD Metro zoomed in on only the face of Mandira Bedi (Shanti – Ek Aurat Ki Kahani).

Pamela Anderson
What a smile. Look at those luscious lips. Yes, lips.

Under such acute circumstances, if there was anyone who saved our whole generation from going retard, it was Pamela Anderson. She raised us as nothing else and no one else could.

When we assembled at one of our friend’s house to watch Baywatch or “read” Playboy, all of us used to forget the 223 runs that India couldn’t chase successfully despite Sachin’s century the previous night. We didn’t even care if our friend was a Muslim or belonged to a different caste; Pamela was all that mattered, Pamela united us.

When internet arrived, Pamela Anderson (and other variants) was one of the first keywords we learnt to type in AltaVista. In fact, she has her role in making India the IT superpower. Not only people got a huge incentive to learn internet, our systems and network were safe as no Indian felt the need to click pamela-anderson-topless.exe; they already had good collection with themselves.

Who knows that the big diaspora of Indians in the US was the result of Borat-like voyage to abduct Pamela and marry her?

But bhagwaan ke ghar der hai andher nahi. No Indian needed to abduct her and Pamela is coming to India of her own. But pity that she might go back after taking part in that useless reality show.

Faking News appeals to the government of India to convince Pamela to extend her stay in India and make it more “meaningful”.

She should be made the guest of the nation and a joint session of the parliament should convey “bahut dhanyawad” to her.

Pagal Patrakar