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"Rampant ugliness makes men cost-inefficient for beauty contests"

20, Nov 2009 By Pagal Patrakar

New York, USA. The movement to allow men to participate in beauty pageants received a deadly blow today when Miss Universe Organization outrightly rejected the demand citing cost-ineffectiveness of the idea. The organization believes that men are born ugly and it would amount to a huge waste of money and resources if they were allowed to participate in beauty contests. While the statement has shocked masculinists, the torchbearers of the movement have refused to lay down the fight for gender equality.

“We are not going to give up and bow down to such irrational statements. There has been a conspiracy to keep men under illusion that they were ugly and not suitable for beauty industry, and it’s a shame that the same is being propagated even today. But we will fight, and we’ll secure a world where men don’t feel ashamed to have luscious shining lips and a soft glowing skin.” leading masculinist and President of Adorably Soft and Sexy Men (ASS-Men) Farren Warrel declared.

Experts believe that one of them is a man
Experts believe that one of them is a man

ASS-Men believe that there is no reason why the concept of beauty should be reserved only for women, when many men, who have been mocked as being effeminate and transgender, have successfully proved that men can be beautiful as well. ASS-Men believe that it’s high time men break away from these shackles and fight for their rights.

“When men wanted equality, they were told to participate in body-building contests with ludicrous titles like Mr. India and Mr. Universe. The winners are neither taken on a world tour nor are they asked to pose nude for hungry children of Africa. What a sham! It was a conspiracy to convince men that they were good only at physical strength and not physical and inner beauty. This is such a narrow and disgusting thought.” Farren Warrel said.

But it seems the organizers of beauty contests are not at all impressed with such arguments.

“Men are hopelessly ugly. We would need to spend crores on each one of them to make them appear even remotely as beautiful as a common woman on the street. And once they start looking beautiful, the poor man is taken away for some movie or television program. It is not fruitful for either party (beauty contests organizers as well as male participants).” President of Miss Universe Organization Paula Shugart said.

Paula further argued that men, who think they were beautiful, should try beauty contests for transgenders and transvestites and not try to break into mainstream beauty contests. But protestors believe that the statement was aimed at dividing them.

“I think Rohit Verma, who is a man, is any day more beautiful than Rakhi Sawant, who is a woman. Can anyone contest that? I challenge you to run an online poll and Rohit will beat Rakhi hands down. Why should then men be kept away from beauty contests?” Bobby Darling, the national transgender of India, supported ASS-Men’s demands.