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Mango commits suicide after being kissed by Emraan Hashmi

18, Apr 2012 By Pagal Patrakar

Mumbai. Mango, longtime romantic partner of Katrina Kaif in television ads, received the shock of his life today after he was kissed by Emraan Hashmi. Although bisexual in orientation, Karan, the concerned mango, is reported to have found the touch of Emraan’s lips anything but pleasurable. Friends of Karan are now demanding that the government stops Emraan from touching any other mango lest there is another casualty.

“Karan always claimed that he was the boyfriend of Katrina Kaif,” Langda Tyagi, another mango and a close friend of Karan told Faking News, “In fact, he claimed they were going to marry soon. He was very happy before he got kissed by Emraan and took this extreme step.”

Emraan Hashmi and Katrina Kaif kissing mangoes
The deadly kiss (inset: the kiss of life)

Sources say that Karan, a celebrity mango appearing in Slice TV ads with Katrina Kaif, had gone for anther television commercial shoot that involved Emraan Hashmi. Karan was told by his manager that the commercial will involve a fight with Emraan, but the actual ad copy required a mango being kissed by Emraan.

“Maybe it was a spoof ad by Slice competitors to mock the soft drink company, but it ended up hurting Karan badly,” an industry expert claimed. The expert cited various examples of ads by beverages companies that were produced just to mock their competitors; the latest being the ad involving cricketer Dhoni that appeared to mock his teammate Harbhajan Singh.

“That ad ended up creating divisions within the Indian team,” the expert claimed, “It seems that Karan was not mentally as strong as Bhajji, and he might have found the whole experience pretty insulting.”

The shocking incident has now raised concerns over safety of fruits in the entertainment industry.

“They claim that no animals were injured during the shoot, but what about fruits?” protested Rasiya, another mango that is regularly seen in Slice ads. Rasiya, now rumored to be the next boyfriend of Katrina, expressed grief over Karan’s death and demanded a ban on Emraan Hashmi.

Legal experts claim that since Emraan Hashmi is known for kissing and there have been no known case of any actress suffering from depression or sickness after being kissed, a ban on the actor would be unfair and illegal.

“Bullshit! There have been sequels to his films like Murder and Jannat, but they had to change the actresses; this proves that the actresses didn’t want to be kissed again by him!” a mango claimed, demanding a ban on Emraan.

Pagal Patrakar