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Snippets

Faking News Newsmakers of the Year

29, Dec 2013 By idiot420

Mother of the Year: Undoubtedly Congress President Sonia Gandhi. As put rightly into perspective by Salman Khurshid that she is not just Rahul Gandhi’s mother but his and India’s mother as well. Nobody can say “mere paas maa hai”, because now every Indian has a mother.

Father of the Year: Since it is a Blow to Bachchan in the earlier category, we gave him this award after he went all out promoting his son’s Dhoom 3 and tweeting collections of the film. Big B was easier choice because last year’s winner ND Tiwari was not in his elements this year.

Shinde at an award show
Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde has assured that he will attend any function where these awards could be given out by Faking News. No matter what happens in the country, he has promised to come to the awards show.

Brother of the Year: Yet again, bhai, Salman Khan.

Sister of the Year: Priyanka Gandhi, after she was requested by Congress workers from Phulpur to lead the party as maiyaa was bimaar and bhaiyya was overburdened.

Son-in-law of the Year: Gurunath Meiyappan, new star in the horizon posed a stiff challenge to 9 times winner Robert Vadra, but in the end it was a tie.

Dude of the Year: Beni Prasad Verma; this man simply doesn’t give a damn about what ‘chaar log’ will think. He says what he wants, he does what he wants, he smokes what he wants.

Seriously Dude of the Year: RBI governor Raghuram Rajan; a man who is expected to control inflation and economy just because he is just a cool dude. (Shobhaa De was in the jury which decided this award)

Digvijay Singh of the Year: Last year Pranab Mukherjee’s son Abhijit Mukherjee won the award for dented-painted woman comment, this year the award was bagged by JD(U) leader Bhim Singh for claiming that people join army to die, and hence there was nothing special about a martyr.

Farewell of the Year: Sachin Tendulkar would have been the obvious choice and he was, till we saw results of assembly elections in December. Thereafter the title finally went to Congress.

Shocker of the Year: Indian government’s reaction on Devyani Khobragade shocked not only people of the country but the world at large. Allegations against Tarun Tejpal were also a contender, but many were not shocked.

Government agency of the Year: ASI’s decision of treasure hunting at Unnao fort after being guided by a saint was the best a government agency attempted to help the government during economic crisis.

Boldest decision of the Year: Uday Chopra’s decision to retire from movie is not that simple as it looks. Being son of Yash Chopra, nobody could have stopped him from acting till Dhoom 21, but still he renounced his acting career.

Haunted place of the Year: Sudden disappearance of coalgate files from Coal ministry’s record rooms has placed ministry’s office even ahead of Bhangarh fort in list of most haunted place in India.

Compliment of the Year: Digvijay Singh’s ‘100 taka tanch maal’ compliment to Congress MP Meenakshi Natrajan easily beats any filmy dialogue said by Bollywood heartthrobs.

Secret of the Year: Nobody exactly knows, not even Obama, that whether Nawaz Sharif called Manmohan Singh a “Dehati Aurat” or not.

Fixer of the Year: While Sreesanth was hot favorite to win this, Faking News decided to award this to Baba Siddique for fixing a hug between Shah Rukh Khan and Salman Khan.

Student of the Year: Rahul Gandhi, for resolving to learn from AAP and Arvind Kejriwal and do things in a way you can’t even imagine.