Mumbai: The famous director Christopher Nolan was in the city today, again for attending another college function. After praising the stupendous short films shown to him and dancing with the students, our Faking News reporter got a chance to interview him for fifteen minutes. Though a short interview, Nolan was impressive, like his movies.
Faking News Reporter(FNR): Namaste Nolan! How is India?
Christopher Nolan(CN): Namaste India! Your country is an awesome place. I have learnt a lot from your filmmakers.
FNR: That sounds awesome. Have you watched any Indian movies?
CN: Yes. When I was shooting Interstellar, I was sucked into one such wormhole. In the fifth dimension, I saw Aamir Khan’s Ghajini. I liked the script and conveyed it to my past self, who later made the movie Memento. I was awestruck by the acting skills of Aamir in that.
FNR: Wow! India is amazed by your recent movie, Interstellar. How did you arrive at such an amazing concept?
CN: To be frank, I should praise a Pakistani for this whole endeavor. Yes, Pakistani cricketer Shahid Afridi was the main inspiration for me to take such a movie on time dilation and relativity. When I heard of Shahid Afridi not ageing, while his co-players retired, went into commentary and even started political party, I was initially taken aback. I had seen the “Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, but that was reverse ageing. The Curious Case of Shahid Afridi is something out of this world. I read about two minutes of his lifetime, which spans twenty years in life of ordinary human being. It was then I started researching on this never-ageing aspect of science and I started creating the story for Interstellar. Full credit goes to Afridi.
- FNR: Instead of showing his life, why did you divert the story to other galaxy and black holes?
CN: Actually, I thought of shooting ‘a day in life of Afridi’, but a day in his life will equal a century and I am too old for it. So, I consulted various physics professors on the secret behind Afridi’s age and they told me about black holes, singularity, time dilation, string theory, wormholes and other space related ideas. So, I spun a web encompassing all these ideas and made the Interstellar movie. When I was researching about Afridi, many of researchers told me that they have stopped using telescope and are now using microscope to analyse the hair of Afridi. They even said that the secret to Afridi’s age lies in his hair and if they could successfully decode it, then they would rename it ‘Hair Theory’. I’m afraid that they can’t get the age of Afridi even then.
FNR: Why did you cast Matthew as protagonist? Why not Afridi then?
CN: Yes. I missed that golden opportunity. We had callsheet problems with him, as his dates clashed with our years. It would had been excellent if he was cast. Imagine this scene ‘Afridi playing in the middle of stadium and his 80 year old grand daughter cheering for him from the stands’. I missed it.
FNR: If you had cast him, then the movie would have been a blasting box office hit in Pakistan. But one thing we noticed in Interstellar, you had 50 plus characters in the movie, but none of them are Muslims. Why? Do you mean to say that you don’t want Muslims in the future? How can you be so non-inclusive? How can you be so communal?
CN (wipes his sweat): Er.. Next question.
FNR: But, I will say you upheld your secular credentials by showing saffron clad Matt Damon as villain.
CN: What the …?
FNR: Okay. Your Interstellar movie shows a solar-powered Indian Air force drone controlled from Delhi base, roaming in USA in future. Did Modi teach you to include that scene? How much did Modi paid you to include that scene?
CN: Hey wait! What the hell are you talking?
FNR: It’s ok. Cool down. Why have you started accepting invite for all college festivals from India?
CN: Fifteen minutes over. This interview started pretty well, but you are now sounding gibberish. Bye!
Update: Nolan was later seen talking with some AAP leaders in Delhi and this meeting gave way to rumors that the next Batman and Joker will be chosen from Delhi.