A doctor has created a pill that can cause instant chest pain to politicians planning to avoid custody in cases of corruption. The pill can be gulped down by an accused politician, who will instantly feel pain in his heart.
Owing to skyrocketing cutoffs for admission to Delhi University, a geneticist has isolated the gene for academic excellence, which will help students break the barrier of 100% marks in exams. Professor Mohan Bhatt successfully found the gene after ten years of collecting DNA samples from tea cups at JNU. Prof. Bhatt claims that genetically modified students will be able to score around 110% in board exams.
An IIT student has developed an algorithm to evenly distribute time spent by a girl among all the boys on campus for the coming Valentine’s Day. With this, the student has claimed to solve the acute problem of lack of girls on campus in engineering colleges, and has hoped that this Valentine’s Day would prove to be “satisfactory” for everyone across all engineering colleges of India.
CWG is doing India proud, claims world-famous physicist Stephen Hawking. It would have been the best news for the CWG OC to hear on a day games open, but sadly the games Professor Hawking was referring to are happening in a “parallel universe”. The world renowned academic told reporters gathered at a press conference at Cambridge University about his latest mind-boggling calculations and his staggering Games-related conclusions.
Based on reports indicating conspiracy by the western scientists to blame Asian countries for all health hazards, India has decided to rename ‘Swine Flu’ as ‘American Flu’ on grounds that it started in the American continent. Earlier India had strongly objected to tracing of superbug bacteria to India and naming it as New Delhi metallo beta lactamase. But India has claimed that it was not an act of vengeance.
Atheists living on the planet Anesidora are up in arms against a newly released movie The Holy Avatar that denies nonexistence of a creator God and proposes that the universe was created by some supernatural power. The movie has been produced by Na’vi people residing on Pandora, the natural satellite of Anesidora, in association with some human beings, better known as Sky People to the Na’vis.
A leading alien scientist in a galaxy hundreds of light-years away from the earth has warned his clan to keep away from the human beings. Mangal Srinivas, one of the most celebrated scientists among the aliens, has warned his fellow species that human beings were growing frustrated with their own life and habitat with each passing day, and might try to intrude into alien’s lives and spaces very soon.
Scientists at National Centre for Biological Sciences have claimed evidences that suggest that birds and animals could also be involved in corrupt practices. The conclusion was arrived at after intense observation of a group of pigeons in the institute premises for around three years, who were found to be accepting and giving bribe to procure straws for building nest. The findings have triggered a worldwide debate.
Latest reports indicating presence of Gorillas on Mars might have stirred up passions and curiosity among the human beings, but the incident has had no effect on world’s apes and monkeys.
Creationists have succeeded in unraveling yet another mystery that has kept the scientists and atheists perplexed for ages. After convincingly arguing that dinosaurs existed alongside human beings and were taken aboard Noah’s ark, creationists have come up with a theory –Intelligent Recall – that once and for all settles the debate over dinosaur extinction, unlike the scientists who keep coming up with a new theory every day.