"I am the most popular football player in India"
"I also play football"
This is the first known case where a mosquito has contacted a disease due to a human being. The mosquito had been living in house of a chain smoker, who happens to be a heavy drinker too.
A 28-year-old man today stunned everybody by claiming that an ailment that he was carrying from the last birth was successfully cured after 48 years (20 years from the previous birth and 28 years in the current birth) of Homeopathic medication.
After Rahul Gandhi used the term “escape velocity”, Physics has come back to politics. Here are 12 scientific terms from high school physics textbooks explained in political terms by Faking News.
Troubled by growing crime, corruption, inequality, and stupidity observed among the human beings, monkeys have confirmed that they were least interested in the next stage of evolution.
After sending their unmanned rover Curiosity to explore the possibility of finding life on Mars, NASA has announced that soon they would be sending an exploration rover to one of the engineering colleges’ in India to find if life exists there.
A doctor has created a pill that can cause instant chest pain to politicians planning to avoid custody in cases of corruption. The pill can be gulped down by an accused politician, who will instantly feel pain in his heart.
Owing to skyrocketing cutoffs for admission to Delhi University, a geneticist has isolated the gene for academic excellence, which will help students break the barrier of 100% marks in exams. Professor Mohan Bhatt successfully found the gene after ten years of collecting DNA samples from tea cups at JNU. Prof. Bhatt claims that genetically modified students will be able to score around 110% in board exams.
An IIT student has developed an algorithm to evenly distribute time spent by a girl among all the boys on campus for the coming Valentine’s Day. With this, the student has claimed to solve the acute problem of lack of girls on campus in engineering colleges, and has hoped that this Valentine’s Day would prove to be “satisfactory” for everyone across all engineering colleges of India.
CWG is doing India proud, claims world-famous physicist Stephen Hawking. It would have been the best news for the CWG OC to hear on a day games open, but sadly the games Professor Hawking was referring to are happening in a “parallel universe”. The world renowned academic told reporters gathered at a press conference at Cambridge University about his latest mind-boggling calculations and his staggering Games-related conclusions.
Based on reports indicating conspiracy by the western scientists to blame Asian countries for all health hazards, India has decided to rename ‘Swine Flu’ as ‘American Flu’ on grounds that it started in the American continent. Earlier India had strongly objected to tracing of superbug bacteria to India and naming it as New Delhi metallo beta lactamase. But India has claimed that it was not an act of vengeance.