Holi se pehle hi maar di kisi ne pichkaari!
Bahut Krantikaari, Bahut hi Krantikaari!
Taking an “out of the box” approach to the problem of GDP growth rate dipping below 5%, Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh today took out his Android phone and launched Google Maps to look for “directions”.
After GDP growth rate dipped to 4.8%, which is the lowest in a decade, the government has come up with an innovative solution to stop the negative sentiments that follow.
After the government rejected the suggestions of Kelkar panel to sharply reduce subsidies on fuels, the panel has come back with the same set of recommendations, claiming that the reduced subsidies will stop communal forces from coming to power.
India’s leading CEOs, market analysts, and other randomly rich persons have expressed shock and disbelief at the childish behavior of the middle class of India, which has been endlessly cribbing over the bold steps taken by the government like slashing subsidy on LPG and Diesel.
Confused over which economy to downgrade next, financial services company and rating agency Standard & Poor’s (S&P) has decided to downgrade the whole human race.
After India experienced a meager 5.3% of GDP growth rate – the lowest in the last 9 years – in the March Quarter of the last fiscal year, experts have been trying to analyze and unravel this setback. Economists and policy makers have put forward various explanations for the low rate, but the most significant development on this front has been the nomenclature of this growth rate.
With rupee weakening against the US dollar, NRIs are suddenly back in demand for everyone – relatives, shopkeepers, real estate companies, and beggars. With every dollar fetching more benefits of an aam aadmi amidst rising inflation, Indians are back to giving importance to NRIs. However, there is a downside too for the NRIs back in the US, where they have been denied salary hikes.
Frustrated with the fact that there appeared to be no impact on circulation of money in the market even after recurrent raise in interest rates, RBI has now decided to take extreme measures to control inflation and supply of money. The central bank will now hire goons who will snatch superfluous money from individuals and organizations to maintain the optimal level of liquidity in the market.
The government announced a major economic reshuffle today after successfully executing a cabinet reshuffle yesterday. Chairman of the Planning Commission and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, who retained his portfolio in the cabinet reshuffle earlier, revealed the new economic statuses and classes for the citizens of India. This is the first time an economic reshuffle has been declared publicly though the rearrangement has been taking place for generations.
Continuing the trend of MBA grads giving up lucrative offers to “do something meaningful”, three students from the Wannabe Institute of Management, WIM, have successfully completed their mandatory summer internship in an auto-rickshaw. These students successfully analyzed the business model of an auto-rickshaw wallah in Mumbai and suggested some strategic changes to increase the bottom line, which has won them accolades from all over the globe.