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Stupid to arrest someone for paying bribe in India, foreign firms protest

14, Feb 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

Rome, Italy. “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” is old age wisdom, and the new age wisdom is “When in India, bribe as the Indians do” – this argument has been put forward by many foreign companies operating in India.

“It is totally stupid, shocking, and unfair to arrest someone just because he or she paid bribe to some Indian official to get a deal done!” a senior official of Walmart reacted to the news of current and former CEOs of the Italian helicopter manufacturing company AgustaWestland being arrested for paying bribes in India.

Chopper
The latest symbol of bribery and corruption in India

The concerned companies are planning to form a consortium and lobby to make sure that they are not penalized for paying bribes in India.

“Almost every one of us has done that!” an official representing a defense equipment manufacturing company told Faking News, “In fact, India’s then Chief Economic Adviser had suggested making ‘bribe giving’ legal a couple of years ago. We shouldn’t be penalized if India is taking too long to make bribery legal!”

“They are a slow bureaucratic nation, but we have to act fast,” the official justified giving bribes to seal deals in India.

These companies have argued that their officials were just following the “local culture” of India when they paid bribes, and hence they should be provided immunity and not prosecuted for doing something that is done with impunity in India.

“It is almost like we are arrested for driving on the left side of the road in India, which is the wrong side according to our laws but allowed in India!” CEO of an American company argued.

“In fact, you can drive on either side of the road in India, right?” the CEO tried to recall his experience of doing business in India. Faking News ended the interview and decided to file this report.