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Self-confidence line to replace Poverty line

06, Aug 2013 By indianpsycho

New Delhi. After Rahul Gandhi revealed that poverty was just a state of mind and self-confidence was needed to eradicate poverty, government has decided to do away with the poverty line and replace it with self-confidence line.

Self-confidence line would measure the confidence a person has through various stages of life over a period of 3 months before concluding whether the person is poor or not.

Rahul Gandhi
Rahul Gandhi showing the amount of confidence needed daily to overcome poverty

“People criticized us when we came up with poverty definitions, such as 32 rupees per day. Raj Babbar too was criticized when he explained how a person could easily survive even at 12 rupees per day. I think now we have the best possible definition of poverty,” Planning Commission’s Montek Singh Ahluwalia told Faking News.

“The other day I saw a beggar who threw away a 50-paisa coin that I gave him! What self-confidence. I also came to know that he was minting at least 50 rupees per day. People would laugh if I claimed that he was not poor, but thanks to this confidence criterion, I can safely say that he was bloody rich fellow!” he added.

“What poor people need is not money but confidence building classes that can help them sail through periods of hunger, illness, insecurity, etc. They need to forget about petty things like roti, kapda, and makaan, and instead focus their energies in discovering the confidence within them,” said a leading management guru endorsing the new definition of poverty.

“They need to straightway jump to the top level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs,” the management guru explained.

“Look at KRK, he has absolutely nothing. But look the kind of self-confidence he has! It is his confidence that makes him believe that he as bungalows, offices, businesses, and girlfriends across the globe. He’s prime example of how self-confidence can eradicate all kinds of poverty,” explained a Congress party leader.

Sources confirm that a massive scheme involving personality-building training will be launched soon. Billions of rupees have been budgeted for the scheme for which tenders will be out soon.

“It will surely remove my poverty,” said a contractor who had recently lost his contract for Mid-Day Meal scheme.