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Snippets

Rats welcome Food Security Bill in anticipation of rotten grains

20, Dec 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. With Food Security Bill cleared by the union cabinet, millions of rats living in and around FCI godowns have gone on a reproduction spree in anticipation of free grains that will be left rotting by the government agencies for the lack of robust public distribution system in the country.

Rats are confident that their coming generations will not die of hunger as there would be enough grains lying unused in the warehouses and railway stations.

Rat eating grains
Mikki, along with many other rats, thinks now his days of penury and hunger are over

“I have finally decided to marry my longtime girlfriend and have at least two dozen little mice by the next parliament session,” Mikki, a brown rat living below an FCI (Food Corporation of India) godown in East Delhi told Faking News.

Mikki got the news while chewing on the morning newspaper yesterday where he got the news about Food Security Bill getting nod of the cabinet. Immediately, he tore off the paper and went to the burrow of Mini, his girlfriend, and showed the piece of paper to Mini’s father.

“I told him that we’d have enough grains to feed our next seven generations,” Mikki recalled how he convinced his would-be father-in-law, who asked for the whole newspaper and scanned through the whole newspaper to find out if Mamata Banerjee was opposed to the idea.

“Once he was convinced that Mamatadi was not against the Food Security Bill, he agreed to marry off Mini to me!” a visibly happy and hopeful Mikki thanked Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi for securing the future of his family.

However, experts warn that the happiness of Mikki might be short-lived as many human beings were also planning to benefit from the Food Security Bill.

Thieves and black-marketers have already started renegotiating the terms of the engagement with the officials to hoard away the PDS grains, and it might not leave much for these poor rats,” an expert pointed out.

(inspired by this Facebook status update by Prof. Anil Gupta of IIM Ahmedabad)