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Prime Minister congratulates onion on reaching the milestone of Rs 100/kg

22, Oct 2013 By Sandeep Kadian

New Delhi. Although everyone thought he would condemn the irresponsible behavior by the vegetable, Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh has congratulated onion on reaching the historic landmark of Rs 100/kg in some parts of India.

Speaking to media persons upon his arrival in Beijing on a state visit, Dr. Singh said, “This is a very proud moment for our government. Through our dedication and hard work, we have managed to take Onion prices to 100. This rapid growth is an inspirational story for Potatoes and Tomatoes, who should also aspire for the 100 mark.”

“This is a result of healthy competition we have promoted in the country. There was a lot of competition initially between Petrol, Dollar, and Onion, as to who touches 100 first, but Onion left others way behind in the home stretch,” Dr. Singh went on to add as Chinese looked at him in awe.

Manmohan Singh with an onion
Prime Minister showcasing a precious achievement

Dr. Singh, who is famous for keeping quiet in India, was in surprisingly chatty mood on this occasion.  He also told the assembled press, “We also want to thank Rajiv Gandhi ji on this occasion. It was Rajiv Gandhi ji’s vision that onions should sell for at least 100 Rs per kg and today we have achieved that. He sensed the true value of onions as far back as 1985. Now under the able leadership of Sonia Gandhi ji, we have realized that dream.”

When Faking News reminded that Kapil Sibal had said a few days back that government was not responsible for Onion prices, and thus how could the government take credit now, Dr. Singh said, “Kapil Sibal is not the custodian of onion prices. He is the telecom minister. Ask him about 2G, not onion prices. Oh wait, please don’t ask anyone about 2G.”

While we were wondering why the PM was talking so much after landing in China, we overheard a person next to us saying, “It seems the robot got a new battery from China.”

Meanwhile sources say that the Prime Minister could soon congratulate Ishant Sharma on giving away 30 runs in an over.

“See, it’s all about using numbers and data to create a positive perception. It’s high level economics and communication theory, you won’t understand,” Prime Minister’s Media Advisor told this reporter.