New Delhi: In a major announcement by Baba Ramdev, Patanjali industry has launched a Churan whose regular intake would prevent people from getting friendzoned.
On top of being completely natural and Ayurvedic it doesn’t have any side effects apart from the extra expense one would incur after having a partner.
We spoke to Ganesh, a renowned market analyst, “This stuff is huge. Me and my peers felt the Patanjali brand was deteriorating after such a negative response to the Patanjali Aata noodles but if marketed right it can be the next Botox or Viagra. The clinical tests conducted on the Guinea pigs have been extremely positive, of 300 friendzoned pigs 295 showed positive signs of returning in the lover zone. Hope Baba Ramdev launches an IPO soon as I am confident it would be the most oversubscribed in Indian history.”
Just like an ordinary pill needs to be eaten before meals or on empty stomach, this would need to be eaten before asking a girl out and before going on a date. If one wishes to get out of a relationship then he/she can stop taking the pills and can instantly get friendzoned again.
Now huge pressure is being mounted on the government to include this pill in the essential drugs list which includes all multivitamins and paracetamol so that it becomes universally accessible.
We spoke to an IT employee who would also be one of the biggest customer of the pill, “It’s very cool man, I am looking forward to trying it on all of them, starting from my 7th grade crush to the 300 odd employees of Tinfosys who have friendzoned me. But the question is would it even work on the girls who have Bhaizoned me cause its intensity is of incredibly higher magnitude than that of a friendzone, and it is the weapon employed by the best in the industry, hope Baba Ramdev addresses this issue,” he said.