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Mallya to open bars in unused Kingfisher planes at Kerala border, following state's prohibition plans

22, Aug 2014 By idiot420

Bangalore. After Kerala government announced its plans to ban alcohol in the state, liquor baron Dr. Vijay Mallya is taking preemptive measures to boost his business. The UB Group chairman has decided to use grounded planes from the fleet of virtually defunct Kingfisher Airlines to open bars at Kerala border.

The unused airplanes were turning out to be a big headache for Mallya because even scrap dealers were not ready to buy those, but Kerala government plans forced him to think out of the box.

Kingfisher-Bar
Ready to become a bar.

“Kerala becoming a dry state is otherwise a bad news for the IMFL industry, but we are seeing this as an opportunity,” Mallya told Faking News, “Once prohibition is in place, Kerala people will travel out of state to buy alcohol, and that’s why we are planning to open our own liquor shops at Karnataka-Kerala border.”

“Initially I thought to rent some shops, but then this idea to use airplanes from Kingfisher fleet struck my mind,” he added, “Necessity is the mother of invention.”

To begin with, UB group will be using 10 airplanes and place it at a stretch of 10 km across the border. “That stretch will be known as Kingfisher Barlines,” disclosed Dr. Mallya.

Mallya further disclosed that Kingfisher Barlines will be different from other typical bars. There will be 15 drinking sessions in one day, each session of one hour. For each session, customers will have to book tickets in advance.

“My dream is to make common man sit inside plane at an affordable rate. Book ticket for an hour session in just Rs. 1000 and get 4 beers along with a chance to sit inside a plane,” said former King of good times sharing his dream to reclaim the position.

Each session will begin with a bartender showing customers how to make drink, and measures to take if one gets over-drunk. This will be similar to air-hostesses coming up with safety instructions.

“Fastening seat-belt will be mandatory after 5 pegs of drink. And in case one feels like vomiting, they can use the polybag placed below their seats,” Mallya gave out the details of the new bars.

“Customers sitting in business class will be charged more, and they will get complimentary and unlimited chakhna and namkeen,” Mallya clarified that people shouldn’t expect freebies without paying, like they used to have free pens and earphones in the Kingfisher Airlines.

Sources tell Faking News that the UB Group is having high hopes from his proposed “Kingfisher Barlines” business, and if it becomes a success, such bars will be opened all across the country.