Bangalore. Kingfisher Airlines today declared that it has appointed Aam Aadmi Party leader Yogendra Yadav as an adviser with the specific mandate of revitalizing the almost dead airline. This was announced at a press conference held at a seven star hotel in the city.
Surprised, reporters immediately questioned the rationale of appointing a political activist in a corporate role.
The spokesman clarified, “In order to appreciate the synergies Mr. Yogendra Yadav can bring in as adviser, one has to first understand the similarities in history and current situation of two organizations, Kingfisher Airlines and Aam Aadmi Party. Consider these:
1. Both KFA and AAP conjured up impossible visions, the former envisioned supporting a king’s lifestyle in a lowest-cost ecosystem while the latter envisioned a utopian, corruption-free country in a corrupt society. You would know that our share price is currently at Rs. 3 and they have 4 seats in Parliament.
2. We began an airline but focused entirely on bikini calendars and other play things. AAP began as anti-corruption movement but focused only on BJP and their leader, now Prime Minister, Narendra Modi.
3. Our chairman Mr. Vijay Mallya used to interview and select the air hostesses personally by bypassing the recruitment process, just like in AAP Arvind Kejriwal would select the VIP candidates for constituencies through personal interview bypassing the NAC.
4. AAP spent crores in a non core but high visibility event of losing an election in Varanasi whereas KFA spent crores on another non core but high visibility activity of buying an IPL team.
5. In KFA, lenders foot the bill for maintaining the Goa villa, yacht, and stud farms while in AAP, donors foot the rent bill for government bungalow of Arvind Kejriwal.
6. Lastly, both AAP and KFA were associated with Captain Gopinath and in both the cases, separations happened in an atmosphere of bitterness.
The similarities are endless.
It was Mr. Yadav’s approach in his endeavor to pull AAP out of depths of defeat and disappointment that convinced us that he is the messiah we have been waiting for, to get us out of the rut that we are in. Let me cite a few more reasons.
You would remember that Mr. Yogendra Yadav pulled off a coup while juggling the domestic power rates in Delhi. The innovative pricing mechanism used there made consumers feel that they were paying less while actually paying more because the tariff had gone up and discoms were getting more money for the same power.
We want him to work similar magic on our lenders. We want them to feel that we are paying back without actually paying anything while they keep giving us more loans to run our business. His soft spoken, almost silken communication skills would be quite useful to us when dealing with our lenders.
In another instance, we were inspired by his comment ‘Aag lag jayegi’. It would be music to our employees’ ears as their kitchen fires have been lying extinguished for several months now.
His success in terms of leading a team of honorary volunteers was tremendous. How he aligned the management objective of making Arvind Kejriwal the Prime Minister with the volunteers’ completely opposite objective of fighting corruption without letting them know was just awesome.
His austere lifestyle goes very well with our brand identity. He brings with him an immense and valuable understanding of people below poverty line, people who cannot afford to eat or wear sufficient clothes. You would know that our chairman too likes to work with people who don’t eat well or hardly wear any clothes.
However, the clinching argument was another similarity between our chairman and Mr Yogendra Yadav. You see, Mr. Yadav, as a psephologist par excellence, has been dealing with figures all his life. You would also be aware that our chairman Mr. Vijay Mallaya too is a self proclaimed fan of attractive figures. In fact, our chairman has declared Mr. Yadav as his elder brother and a dear friend,” the spokesman concluded.