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IT employee swinging his ID card suddenly flies out of Earth, overtakes ISRO rocket

01, May 2016 By manithan

Chennai: An IT employee working in a multinational software company has reportedly been lifted out of Earth when he was swinging his ID card tag ferociously.

Two days back, during the launch of its seventh navigational satellite, an ISRO scientist who was watching the video of the rocket being tearing across the atmosphere of Earth, was shocked to see a tiny figure overtaking the rocket. “I could not believe what I was seeing. I guessed it might be some insect in the camera or some glitch in our systems. But 5 experts confirmed that it was a man of 6 feet height. We initally suspected it to be a alien, but further analysis revealed that it must be a human. Is Superman for real? We must wait and see!”

ID card
After the incident, Prime Minister Narendra Modi has stressed that only ‘Digital India’ can send Indians to great heights and has planned to boast before US senate that India has sent a man to space with no cost. Meanwhile, Rahul Gandhi has planned to provide ID card tags to common people, if elected, so that they can go up with escape velocity.

But, our investigative acumen has revealed what even ISRO cannot find out. It was not Superman who was found by the scientists. It was Srinivasan, aged 26, working in Conisant Solutions, who was seen flying beyond the Ionosphere while ISRO was watching the navigation of its seventh navigational satellite from its control center. One of our correspondent from Chennai had informed us of this development. Excited upon hearing this news, we landed outside his home.

His parents still could not believe that Srinivasan has left this world. “He is not dead yet. He must not be,” cried his elder brother. While his family could not be disturbed, we poked his friends. One of his friend cum co-worker, Vinoth, described the shocking incident that had happened that day.

“We were having cigarette and tea in stall outside our office. Most of us would be removing our ID card tag while walking out of office premises. And one cannot miss seeing an IT employee swinging his ID card tag like a cowboy swinging his rope. It was that act which sent Srini out of this world. It appears that these ID cards sap all our energy every day and thus are powerhouses of potential energy,” he said.

Heaving a sigh, Vinoth continued, “That day, Srini was swinging his ID card tag outside the tea stall. Suddenly, we saw him grow taller. Excited, he kept on swinging his ID card tag faster. I looked down and his feet was two feet above the ground! He was slowly levitating. Before I could pull him down, he kept on increasing the angular velocity of his ID card swinging and kept on going up like a rocket. Within few seconds, he just shot himself up above until he disappeared out of sight.”

ISRO has traced Srinivasan and he was last seen propelling among the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. “He is still swinging his ID card tag,” said one scientist.

Meanwhile, Srinivasan’s supervisor has sent a strong message to him via ISRO to fill time-sheet and to enter non-billable for time he is spending away from his seat, even if it is outside Earth.