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ISIS return terrorist signs up 5-year modelling contract to promote a toilet cleaner product

12, Dec 2014 By manithan

Mumbai. The ISIS return terrorist has signed a 5-year contract to appear as a model for a toilet cleaner product. The modelling contract was signed outside the gates of secret place where he is currently kept for interrogation. The toilet cleaner company has developed a special product, that is designed to remove all sorts of stains from the toilet bowl.

Instead of the usual toilet cleaner faces, who come on TV wearing cap and barge into people’s bathrooms, the company this time decided to approach the terrorist, a move that has sent shock waves across the country.

ISIS
A teaser released by the toilet cleaning company featuring the ISIS return terrorist.

Faking News got in touch with a company representative, who explained the logic. “Our new product Halpic is designed to remove any kind of ugliness from even the most ugliest toilets in the world. Using our Halpic toilet cleaner, even the toilets of theaters can be made pure white in a few seconds. While we were searching for a face which will be in sync with this harshest toilet cleaning endeavor, none of the usual models fitted our bill. It was then we heard that the returned ISIS terrorist had cleaned even the shits of the shitty terrorists.”

She continued, “Imagine, if one could clean the toilets and maintain it in a cleaner manner in the worst war-torn portions of the world, then how really efficient that person will be? If our ISIS return guy could even clean the pots used by ISIS crackpots, then his appearance in our toilet cleaning ad will send a strong message to the toileting world. That is why we chose him to be our brand ambassador.”

“We want to make our model feel like being at home during the ad shoot. So we have planned to shoot our first ad in a set that will look like ISIS occupied Syria. We will be showing how ISIS terrorists keep on taking shits due to fear of air attacks and Kurds approaching their way. Then, we will focus on how the toilets are hard to clean with their indigenous toilet cleaning products. Then, our model will appear there and clean the toilets which turns so white that terrorists think of it as some white and bomb it,” the creative director explained how the ad will shape up.

When we asked him how the shooting will be done and how they can bring the terrorist out of police custody for shooting, the director smiled and said, “Well, if Sanjay Dutt can come out of his jail sentence to complete movie shooting, then why not our model? If Dutt is local hero, our model is a jihadi hero and like other heroes, he is also not bound by law.”