Mathura. After Jet pilots, IIT professors and Air India pilots, it’s now turn of Indian cows to go on strike. Cows want better living conditions like soft mattresses to sleep on and air-conditioned sheds to spend leisure time, apart from green sanitized pastureland. The strike has been called by All India Cows Confederation (AICC), which has threatened that its members would trample any human being trying to milk them unless their demands were accepted.
“World over cows are given such facilities and recently Norway made it public that productivity of cows had indeed jumped after they were provided with better living conditions. In India they just call us mothers but treat us just like any other animal. They even make multi crore scam out of our fodder! We have been tolerating this bullshit for long but it’s time we cared for cow rights and bovine freedom.” AICC chief Kamdhenu Maata warned and announced that the strike will come into effect from midnight after Dussehra.
The decision of cows to go on strike has left most Indians shocked and in state of disbelief. They had always taken cows for granted, just like their mothers, and thought that the simple bovine beings would put up with anything and everything. People were seen queuing up on dairy shops to buy liters and liters of milk fearing a milk shortage in the coming weeks due to the strike.
Government has termed the cows taking part in the strike as audacious and insensitive critters. An official in the central animal husbandry department informed that the government could invoke Essential Services Maintenance Act (ESMA) against the erring bovines.
“Cows are demanding luxuries when rest of us are on austerity drive. Furthermore they can’t go on strike at this point of time when India is facing threat of Swine Flu. Latest research has shown that cow milk can be helpful in curing Swine Flu and if cows are ready to go on strike eve after learning this, they are behaving like terrorists. The government will have no other option but to flex muscles.” the official informed on conditions of anonymity.
But to defuse tensions, government has officially invited the cows, especially the AICC members, for talks. Home Minister P Chidambaram reminded the striking cows that the government had always respected them and never interfered in their anatomy autonomy, that’s why beef could not become a popular dish in India. Home Minister expressed confidence that a negotiated settlement would be reached amicably very soon.
Meanwhile a group of human beings, belonging to Vishwa Gaay Parishad (VGP), have come out in support of striking cows. VGP members believe that the cows must be supplied the luxuries they were asking for, as it could redeem Indian culture and cause the next moon mission to be successful. A group of linguists also are supporting the cows as they believe that if the demands of cows were met, the term “cattle class” will get a new connotation and will cause the middle classes to feel more confident when traveling in the economy class.