New Delhi. In a major effort to boost economy and arrest the free fall of Indian Rupee against the US Dollar, the government of India today announced that it will start talks with the dollar.
“Things have turned bad over a few weeks, but talks must continue,” Finance Minister P Chidambaram unveiled the grand plan to revive the currency and economy.
The government believes that bilateral talks with a rather aggressive dollar could work wonders and rupee could be given the request it deserves in the foreign exchange market.
“We need to tackle this problem with a cool head,” Chidambaram told Faking News, “Knee jerk reactions like economic reforms or announcing some radical changes in the monetary policy will not help.”
It should be noted that the government had earlier taken steps like barring air travelers from bringing duty-free LCD TVs inside India, but they soon realized that talks were the best possible solution.
“We had to take this step as I’ve been asking people to stop buying dollars, but they are not listening,” Chidambaram rued, “They think that dollar will get them better returns like gold. Stupid people!”
Since people in India are not listening to him, the finance minister now plans to talk to the dollar.
“We are willing to travel to US or if dollar wants, he can come to India,” Chidu said, “We are planning three rounds of discussions.”
When asked if Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh too could take part in these talks, the Finance Minister said that things had not turned so bad that Dr. Singh has to speak.
While the step is being taken as another example of India being a “soft state”, the government clarified that it had alternate plans ready.
“We are confident that talks will work, but if situation doesn’t improve, we will send strong warnings to the dollar,” a government source disclosed.
“Not only that, we will stop playing cricket with the US dollar. I mean, the IPL auctions will be done in Indian rupees and not in US dollars,” the source added.