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Impressed with Bangalore Autowallah's fare extracting skills, Mallya appoints him CEO of Kingfisher Airlines

15, Jun 2014 By buddha1saadhu

Bangalore. In a first of its kind move that has shocked the Indian aviation industry completely, Vijay Mallya appointed Mr. Malappa, a veteran auto-rickshaw driver in Bangalore as the new CEO of Kingfisher airlines to revive the grounded and virtually defunct airlines.

Speaking to mediapersons soon after the announcement, Dr. Mallya said that he came across this shrewd businessperson when he boarded an auto in Bangalore after misplacing his car keys somewhere.

The short journey apparently taught Dr. Mallya more things about running a business profitably than his years of industry experience could not teach him.

Mallya unable to control his laughter after striking gold.
Mallya unable to control his laughter after striking gold.

Not only was he dumbfounded by the fare demanded by the autowallah, Mr. Malappa, he also learnt a groundbreaking and revolutionary rule of transportation, where the fare must always include the return fare to the original starting point. Since the occupancy during the return journey for the carrier is not guaranteed, it’s the moral responsibility of the traveler to compensate the carrier, the rule says.

Dr. Mallya claims to have instantly realized his folly and found a way to raise funds to pay back his loans. He has decided to sue every passenger who ever traveled in Kingfisher Airlines and whose seat was unoccupied in the return journey.

The autowallah further went on to share the nuances of his pricing strategy with Mr. Mallya. According to the new pricing strategy, Air-Asia like fares are to be used for boarding planes but you will be allowed to disembark from the plane only on providing extra charges, which will be based on Emirates fares. If the passenger protests, he will be embarrassed publicly and even threatened.

Sources tell Faking News that many other such revenue generating ideas from the autowallah hugely impressed Dr. Mallya and he decided to appoint him the CEO of KFA with immediate effect.

When questioned over his capability to take on the job, the former autowallah Mr. Malappa claimed that he was confident of managing KFA as there was not much difference between an auto and an aircraft.

“Rickshaw has 3 wheels and so does a plane,” he argued.

Dr. Mallya is apparently very thrilled with his new appointment and hopes that it would boost his beer sales as well. “Carlsberg sells glasses to sell its beer, I used to run an airline to sell my beer. I need to keep the airline flying to increase beer sales,” the UB Group chairman explained.

Meanwhile, Air Asia India CEO, Mitu Chandliya reacted to the appointment by saying that he was even willing to fly people for free to eliminate competition.