Mumbai. Concerned over felling of trees to make toilet papers, Idea Cellular has come up with an idea that could change the lives of millions of toilet going men and women. Idea has proposed a solution where people could get the same work done by sending just an SMS, for which they have been hitherto felling trees. But the idea has attracted criticisms from other cellular operators.
“It’s a case of thinking too much hatke.” said Virgin Mobile India spokesperson, claiming that Idea could have simply asked people to go back to using traditional Indian toilets, which don’t require using toilet papers to come out clean after the act. In the current provision the SMS would initiate a jet of water, a mechanism that has come under heavy criticism.
“What happens in case of weak signals or heavy traffic on the network?” wondered the BSNL representative, who believed that India required everything at lightening fast speed these days. BSNL thinks that the issue can be solved once the 3G technology arrives in India, but the company declined to propose a solution to minimize the use of toilet papers.
Vodafone, which has a pug (small dog) as brand ambassador, requested Faking News to keep them out of the discussion. “Yes, we are happy to help, but this request is kinda too much.” said a Vodafone call center employee, whom our reporter could talk to only after being put on hold for over half an hour.
Airtel thought that the whole issue was blown out of proportion. “Kitna waqt lagta hai yeh kaam karne mein (how much time does it really take to finish this up)?” asked Airtel brand ambassador Shah Rukh Khan, arguing that the issue was not worth attention, and added that Airtel was the best.
Reliance telecommunications too thought that the issue was too small to be debated, but the conglomerate expressed interest in launching a series of public convenience centers across India that would have no toilet papers, if the government provided them land at concessional rates.
But the most wacky criticism and suggestion came from the Tata DoCoMo representative, who thought that the problem could be solved quite easily if people started sharing toilet papers.
“Because friends share everything.” said the DoCoMo guy, arguing that usage of toilet papers could be brought down to 25% of the current volumes if friends started sharing them.