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HR team meets to discuss ways to cut down on employee happiness

05, May 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

Mumbai. After having observed increased level of happiness and satisfaction among the employees in the past few weeks, the HR team of Hindustan Companies Limited (HCL) met today to discuss innovative ways of reducing employee pleasure to bring it down to the acceptable levels. The three member top level team is expected to finish its brainstorming session by 5.30 PM sharp and submit its recommendations to the top management tomorrow.

“We had received specific information from our sources that employees were seen generally happy and jovial in the past few weeks. No important announcement or managerial decisions were taken in the concerned duration that could have logically added to the overall well-being of the employees. At best, the development could be termed an aberration.” Hari Sadu, HR head of HCL said.

Happy Employees
Employees are normally supposed to openly express their happiness for corporate presentations and brochures

After having personally witnessed the increased happiness among the employees yesterday, when he saw a group of employees laughing and cracking jokes during the lunch break, a puzzled and concerned Hari Sadu called for an emergency meeting today morning, which continued till reports last came in.

“I too have seen these guys spending too much time in cafeteria, near coffee-vending machines or in the smoking corners and being jolly for almost no apparent reason.” Nitya Udaas, senior HR manager, shared the concern, further adding, “Maybe the workload has reduced of late. We have to check with the sales department if we are getting enough business.”

“I have noticed that even the toilets are occupied for longer duration these days.” quipped Anand Anjaan, third member of the top-level team, wondering what was going on in the office.

After discussing various problems and irregularities in employee behavior, the HR team also discussed employing some innovative techniques to control employee pleasure.

“We could make the coffee-vending machine operative only after swiping it with the identity cards. We can get data on which employee is spending maximum time drinking coffee and accordingly deal with the problem.” proposed Hari Sadu, directing Anand to find out how much will such a card-swiping machine cost and to send a proposal to the Finance department.

“Also find out the cost of that toilet-timer that switches off the lights in toilets after ten minutes. This will make sure that no employee spends too much time over there, while we would project it as an electricity saving initiative towards making HCL green.” interjected Nitya, which was well appreciated by Hari and Anand.

HR team was still in the board room when this report was filed, with smiles returning to their faces as they discussed and analyzed the problem at hand in detail.