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Snippets

Honest answers to MBA admission interview, which you shouldn't give

22, Jul 2015 By Gareeb MBA

My first MBA admission interview was a great experience, though I was brutally honest but still got booted out; here are some of its excerpts:

(This interview was done under the supervision of experts. Please don’t try it at any educational institute.)

Q. Tell me something about yourself?

Ans. Why the hell I have given you my CV for? Do you have any idea how many hours it takes to make a CV ? How much pain it takes to gather advice from seniors who just blabber anything? I give you 2 minutes to go through my CV. Take your time.

Q. Why MBA?

Ans. Money of course, nobody is here for charity. Competition, jealousy among cousins and friends is another big reason. Chances of getting healthy dowry and sexy girl for marriage boosts up too I think. Also respect increases in the society, as they think us to be well educated, LOL. Lastly, MBA is the best course for placements; same companies reject us during B.Com even at 1/5th of MBA salaries, and here we make fool of them.

Q. What are your strengths?

Ans. ah… I beg your pardon

A brutally honest MBA interview.
A brutally honest MBA interview.

Q. Strengths?

Ans. Ah, yes, ah… (After 2 minutes of thinking)… I am honest…

Q. Some real life examples?

Ans. I just told you that I am doing MBA for money, next question please.

Q. What you want to do after MBA?

Ans. Of course get job in MNC for a fat payroll, actually it’s your job buddy, that I get a placement.

Q. Why ours, it’s on you?

Ans. Then why the hell I am paying you 14 Lacs for?

Q. Do you not want to start your own business?

Ans. I am not an engineer, so can’t do startups based on apps and websites, and agar business hi karna tha toh aapke saamne baith kar faltu sawaalo ka jawaab nahi deta.

Q. What sector you want to get into?

Ans. whichever pays high salary and posting in my home town.

Q. Home town posting is more important than profile for you?

Ans. Yes of course, Maa ke haath ka khaana kaise milega, and how does job profile matters, humlog waise bhi company me reh kar kya ukhaad lenge.

Q. Last question, what are your expectations from our esteemed institute?

Ans. 2 saal canteen ka achaa khaana, Good gender ratio, a Rs. 20 Lac placement, minimum, Delhi posting, aur issey zyada kya chahiye mujhe.

Q. Thank you, you may go now.

Ans. Dhanyawaad