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Government to pay Google $20 billion for acquiring IRCTC

25, Jun 2014 By Ishan Bhatkoti

New Delhi: Exclusive sources tell Faking News that Modi-led government has sold IRCTC to Google, and unlike other deals where the seller gets money, the government has paid Google $20 billion for acquiring the website.

Confirming the deal, Google issued a press statement that read: “Google is blessed to have acquired IRCTC – India’s fastest ticket booking website. We have always believed that it’s not the amount that is important but it’s the product that is important. What we have acquired are hard-working people and hardly working servers. Now we will serve you with a smile. $20 billion is nothing. Frustration of 20 billion people is what matters to us and we like it.”

larry page
Larry Page announcing the acquisition.

IRCTC staff and officials were happy with the development as they are all Google employees now. They believe that they can now get holidays by asking their kids to write leave letters.

“We were afraid after reading news reports that Modi government was asking babus to work and our holidays could get cancelled. Thank god for this!” said an official on the conditions of anonymity.

However, some employees are apprehensive about their future with Google.

“Working with IRCTC has me believe in destiny. Getting a ticket booked is not about money or internet connection, but it is all about luck and time planning. But here at Google they are always talking about speed and money,” an IRCTC-turned-Google employee disclosed.

Many experts believe that Google has acquired something divine, and that too without paying a penny.

“IRCTC is the world’s most unique website. Unlike Google, Facebook, and Twitter, whose servers are located somewhere on earth and are serviced by humans, IRCTC servers are blessed by Shiva, Bhramha and Vishnu. Every time when a transaction fails you get a message from one of the lords asking you to try again,” a tech expert claimed.

It is not yet clear why the government paid money to Google to acquire and run the website.

“This government is for the coporates, by the corporates, and of the corporates. Only big business houses have got achchhe din; yehi toh scam hai,” an Aam Aadmi Party leader protested.

But experts believe that the government has got rid of a lot of bad PR and ill-will through this deal.

“IRCTC is famous for causing high BP problem and aggression among users. It has also made many people bankrupt, with most of them being students living in hostels and PGs who are future voters. The government has got a monkey off its back,” a political cum business pundit claimed.

Latest reports say that Google is planning to pay $50 billion to the government of India to return the website it has acquired.