Mumbai. Yesterday was Flipkart’s Big Billion Day, only for a few lucky Indians.
People (who had been vacationing for the last 4 days) came in early to office on a Monday morning. They were glued to Flipkart trying to buy something for their loved ones (themselves).
The entire day was lost in shopping (refreshing pages) on Flipkart, and later in outraging on social media about the way Flipkart failed to provide the discounts and offers to every shopper.
Seeing the drop in productivity, RBI Governor Raghuram Rajan issued a press statement today morning on Facebook:
“The country has lost an entire day of productivity. India may soon head into recession. Going by today’s labor indicators, if such marketing gimmicks continue until Diwali, India will have to go searching for funds to the World bank.”
Alarmed by the RBI’s warning, Prime Minister Narendra Modi had to urgently call for a cabinet meeting. The cabinet (Modi himself) has unanimously decided to take this up with his Chinese counterpart – Eleven (Xi) Jinping. He may soon demand for an Alibaba fund to get India out of this looming economic crisis.
“Yeh to opposition ki chaal hai. Ek chai wale ko online offer dikha kar uski dukaan band karne ki koshish hai Congress walo ki,” said a BJP spokesperson who wanted his name to be revealed, but we refused to do so. Sources tell Faking News that the ruling party is trying to sensitize people against such online offers by linking it with Modi’s emotional pitch.
However, companies are not too sure if such appeals by the government and warnings by the RBI are going to deter people from wasting another day trying to get things in cheap. Fearing shut down, the big IT companies in India have already decided to sue Flipkart for its Big Billion Day sale.
“Its not just about losing a day’s productivity, India has lost all its IT credibility! If we cannot handle a single website, how do you expect our clients to give us more business?” said Azim Premji, who earlier invested in Snapdeal.
Meanwhile, our reporter at Tihar Jail spoke with Basaram Bapu.
“I got an email update from Flipkart saying they had everything I was looking for. I thought to get a bail from their website, that too at discount. But there was no such offer! I even checked their new Sexual Wellness section. Sighting a special rate on their Big Billion Day, I finally decided to try something new. I spent an entire day trying to buy Durex, but couldn’t do anything. Nonsense!” said an angry Bapu, who went ahead giving them a curse.
Finally, a few tweets about Big Billion Day:
“Yahi to #fraud hai, Tihar jail mein Basaraam Bapu ko internet access diya kisne?” – Arvind Kejriwal “Lost my fingers and a mouse refreshing Flipkart. #BigBillionDay” – Rahul Gandhi “Expecting my jhaadu to be delivered by tomorrow. #BigBillionDay” – Arvind Kejriwal “Even Rajinikanth and Sir Jadeja are not able to buy products form#Flipkart.#BigBillionDay” – Sir Ravindra Jadeja. “Awww! They’re selling ‘Out of Stock’ and ‘404 Page Not Found’ on #Flipkart” – Alia Bhat
(Article contributed by Vinayak Katkar, Ketan Sabnis and Atul Jethmalani )