Mumbai. Leaving no stone unturned in making people believe that fairness is the key to success, companies manufacturing fairness creams have claimed to prove that vanilla is a far more popular and successful flavor than chocolate.
This comes after recent revelations by them that not endorsing Fair and Handsome cost Obama a third term as the US president and that Eminem was the most successful rapper in a black-dominated genre due to his use of fairness creams.
The case came to light when ice cream companies reported a drop in the sales of chocolate flavor which coincided with a proportional increase in vanilla flavor sales.
“We have ordered fairness creams in bulk as we need to convert all the chocolate into vanilla if we are to remain successful,” said the CEO of a major ice-cream company.
Just like in the ads where a dark-skinned person is unable to face life, it was found that anxiety and depression were common in people who preferred chocolate over vanilla.
“To be fair, people might call us racists but the truth is Amreesh Puri wouldn’t have allowed Kajol to run to SRK in the DDLJ climax had SRK not been using ‘mardon waali cream‘,” said a member of the group ‘Funding Obsession Of Light Skin’ (FOOLS).
The flavoracists, as they are being called, are against the use of anything dark in nature: from black coffee to black comedy.
“We’re fairly sure all of the Indian population will be above the ‘Below Fairness Line’ by next year,” said one flavoracist while holding a tube of fairness cream in his palm to increase his confidence level.
The companies also warned students to avoid looking at black boards and the general public to stop using Blackberry smartphones. They encouraged people to post matrimonial ads demanding brides and grooms who are allergic to chocolate and avoid Anurag Kashyap movies since they have a dark theme. Some of them claimed as this being the reason of Kalki breaking off with Anurag.
Meanwhile, photo studio owners have denied the claims and assured the public that the only fairness product they can trust is Adobe Photoshop.