Bangalore. After failing to collect enough medical bills for the current fiscal year to reimburse, employees of city based firms have now pinned all their hopes on falling sick and have gathered at Someshwara temple to pray to god to get blessed with some illness.
“I have to submit all my bills by 31st march, failing which I will not be able to reimburse the money in my package. I just realized I haven’t fallen ill at all in this financial year. My New Year resolution is to fall ill. I am praying to god to help me with my resolution,” a man in his late 20s told Faking News.
Employees admitted to having tried many things before to claim the reimbursements, before taking this extreme step.
“I have been eating junk street food like bhajiya, momos, barf ka gola, etc for 6 weeks now and I still haven’t fallen ill. I even rebuked a gol gappe wala when he tried to clean his hands and gave me papdi dipped in mineral water,” recalled an employee who is still wondering if that gol gappe wala was the agent planted by HR of his company.
“The other day my colleague, Raj was having 102 fever and vomiting and we all felt so jealous of him. He has always had the luck going for him,” said another employee who is sure Raj would not feel any problem in getting bills now.
Sources say last year these employees had attempted to fudge bills but were caught and warned by the new HR head, who’s against corruption in any form.
“He is one of those idiots who think idealism is the solution to everything,” rued an employee whose fake medical bills were rejected last month.
To get genuine medical bills, some employees even tried to shop for all their daily need household items from the medical shops.
“The other day I went and asked a chemist ‘Bhai aloo kaise diye’ and he stared at me so savagely as if I asked for his daughter’s hand,” said man who has successfully managed to confine himself in just 12 sqft space at his workplace to save on the office space rent component in his salary package.
Since chemists are still not ready to sell vegetables, some employees have now started eating medicines on daily basis and have included them in their diet.
“My breakfast includes bread with chyawanprash, lunch has rotis with 2 disprins and crocins, while dinner is usually light where I consume any of the cough syrup,” revealed an IT professional who has been able to manage some bills through this tactic.
Meanwhile looking at problems being faced by the aam employees of the city, the state Congress government has decided to step in and have ordered HRs of all leading companies to consider vegetable purchase in medical reimbursements.
“People eat junk food all the time, and they remember about fresh green vegetables only when they fall ill. So vegetables are like medicines in the modern world, hence money spent on buying vegetables should be allowed as medical reimbursement,” state Finance Minister argued, hoping to attract the techies who are otherwise not supposed to vote for Congress in coming elections.
“Furthermore will send our MLA’s on a study tour to USA to learn about medicinal benefits of organic farming and other natural therapy techniques,” the minister announced.